Come Shop our Sale!!!

Help Needed

We've been blown away by the generous donations to our garage sale!  Friends, family and even strangers have dropped off items for us to sell and we're so grateful.

What we really are in desperate need of  is help to work the sale!  We also are in great need of tables. If you're local and are able to help in either of those ways, we'd be so very appreciative. 

 Click here to sign up:  Link to Garage Sale Help

Also, spread the word!

Garage Sale Helpers

We are in need of helpers to help us set up and run our garage sale! 

Here are the general times, but we'll take any time you can give!
 

Thursday April 28th, Set-up 4-6pm
 

 Thursday April 28th, Preview Night 6pm-Dark
 

Friday April 29th, 9am-3pm
 

Saturday April 30th, 9am-3pm
 

(will also need help earlier than 9am to set up Fri & Sat)

We are also still accepting donations for the sale! 

We have a 15foot trailer parked in our driveway to help store items, 

so we'll gladly take anything! 

Thank you!

 

Help Us Bring Joey Home!

Talking about adoption costs isn't the most exciting topic, but it's part of the process and something we have to figure out each time.  This adoption is going to cost around $35,000. It's a huge leap of faith to begin such an expensive process not knowing where the funds are going to come from, but God showed up big time for us for both Allie and Maggie's process and we have no doubt He can do it again! :)

We have a few things in the works and would be honored to have your help!

Matching Grant:
We have been blessed to receive a matching grant to help cover funds to bring Joey home.  We are so grateful to Lifesong for Orphans and Chosen & Dearly Loved for their support in helping us cover the adoption expenses!

If you're interested in contributing, CLICK HERE for more information.

Also, for more information about Lifesong for Orphans, CLICK HERE. 


Garage Sale:
We also are having a huge fundraising garage sale on April 29th and 30th. We're accepting donations of items to be sold, so if you're local and have things you're getting rid of, we'll gladly take them off your hands!  Please contact me at jcoleman48@cinci.rr.com if you have donations!


Noonday Sale:
Also, a dear friend hosted a Noonday sale for us.  Noonday offers fair trade jewelry and other gorgeous items, and we'll receive 10% of the sales.  If you're interested, you can purchase online through April 12th.   Here's the link for that:  NOONDAY SALE


Most importantly, we continue to covet your prayers for our new son and our family as we walk this process and prepare for Joey to join our family.  

Many, many, many thanks!!!


 

 





 

A New Update on Joey!!!

We recently got an unexpected update on Joey! Unexpected is the BEST way to get an update in the adoption process. When we are expecting one, I just obsess over my email waiting for it to come. This was a total surprise and so wonderful!!

We got 2 new pictures of our guy.  His front teeth are growing in and I think he looks so much older, which makes me sad that we are missing out on so much.  But he also looks a little healthier than the last pictures, so that's comforting.

He is really tiny and our Adoption Doc says he's nowhere near the growth chart and we'll have to address that when he gets home. But that's not terribly uncommon for a kiddo growing up in an orphanage, unfortunately.  He'll be 8 years old this summer and he's the size of our 5 year old.  I can't wait to fatten him up!!!

Yet again, he is described as a happy-go-lucky kid who is quick to give a smile and a hand to others.  The update also said he can walk about 21 yards and can climb the stairs on his own.  It also said he can feed himself and help out with some of his self care. These were things we were wondering about, so it's great information to have.  He also apparently is obsessed with Spider-Man!  We love little details like that, it makes it feel like we know him a little better.

Another fun fact: His Chinese name Zhao Yu is pronounced "Jow Yoo", which we'll keep as his middle names. So he'll be Joseph Zhao Yu Coleman. We've been practicing the pronunciation!  Another very cool fact is Maggie's middle names are Yu Fei, so they have the "Yu" name in common!

He lives with a foster family within the orphanage and also gets some schooling within the orphanage.  From what we've heard, his orphanage is better than many in China, which is such a blessing. But it's not substitute for a family, proper health care and schooling, so we need to get him home asap!!

Our dossier (fancy word for "our life on paper") is at our agency ready and waiting except for ONE item, which is approval from the United States Government. Once that comes, we can submit everything to China and get the ball rolling on their side of things.  We've made a lot of paperwork progress, but it's still looking like we won't be able to travel until fall sometime.  As much as I'm anxious to get him home, we're trying to relish where we are right now and make the most of these last months as a family of 6.

Fundraiser for Joey!

My sweet friend, Abbie Bast, is hosting an online fundraiser for Joey's adoption! The fundraiser offers KEEP Collective jewelry, which is a sister company to Stella & Dot jewelry, and is all about creating pieces that are meaningful to you. We're so grateful she is donating 25-30% of all sales to help bring our little guy home!  There are so many ways to create beautiful pieces of jewelry!  See below for how it works and for some examples. Thank you so much Abbie!!!

You can click on the link below to shop, and also contact Abbie directly.  

 

Shopping Link:

https://www.keep-collective.com/soc/b9q20 

Abbie Bast - AbbieG99@yahoo.com
(989) 284-0801

Our Special Guy

While we are still 8-10 months away from bringing Joey home, he's on our mind constantly.  Right now I'm working on his second care package we hope to send him soon. It's so different preparing care packages for a 7 year old kid versus a baby.  What does he like? What does he need? What is he able to do with his hands/body given his physical limitations? Will they even give him the package and let him keep the things we put so much thought into? What about all the other kids there who aren't getting care packages, how will that make them feel?

We're just doing the best we can and hope he gets it and hope he feels the love from us.  I'm making him a little photo book with pictures of us and our family. It's so strange to choose pictures that will be his first glimpse of us!  What will he think of us?  I pray that his little heart will be filled with hope and the knowledge that we're working hard to get him home.

We've had amazing response and support from our friends and family since our announcement! Lots of you have asked specifics about his special need, so here's what we know.

His paperwork says he has "multiple joint contracture", which likely means he has Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita, or AMC.  We're still learning, but from what we understand so far, Arthrogryposis is non progressive, and affects his joints. Every person with Arthgryposis is affected differently, to varying degrees.  His affects the joints in his upper and lower limbs. What that means is his elbows, wrists, knees and ankles do not bend correctly. We're not sure about his shoulders and hips, and club feet is also included in his diagnosis.

At first glance, it's a lot. His body is different and always will be. While it's not progressive, it's also not completely correctable either.  What we can tell already, though, is that this kid is full of spunk and determination and is already a pro at modifying things so that he can function.  Some people with AMC are completely dependent on wheelchairs, but Joey can walk! It's not a "typical" walk but it's truly amazing that he walks! He can't walk for long periods of time or long distances, though, so he does sometimes use a wheelchair.  We had a leading doctor for AMC review his file for us and he said it's really crazy good that he is walking and is a testament to his determination. In fact, what we've heard from other parents of kiddos with AMC is that in general they tend to be very determined, high spirited and happy kids.  I'm thinking maybe he's gonna teach us a thing or two. :)

From the videos and pictures we have of him, he is able to hold a pencil to write, can sit in a chair and play and enjoy typical kid activities despite having to modify things a bit to make it happen.  While he has had at least one surgery and possibly some therapies in China, there are so many more things we can do to help him once he's home.  We don't know exactly what his treatment plan will entail, but it most likely will be a combination of surgeries, castings and occupational and physical therapy. We feel blessed and honored that we get to be the ones to be his advocate and get him the care that he absolutely deserves.

Some other things we know about him:  He lives with foster parents at the orphanage.  We're grateful that it appears that he is getting some schooling at his orphanage. A US program called Half the Sky Foundation helps to support his orphanage and we believe that he is benefiting from the schooling and care that that program provides. 

An update on him from last July said the following about him:  "His spirit is good. He is intelligent and lively. He likes to spread happiness to the children around him. When other children need help, he will enthusiastically go to help them. Zhao Yu is good at using language to express his ideas and thoughts."  That just fills my momma heart!

Other fun facts: 

• His birthday is July 24, 2008, which means he's only about 4 months younger than Sam.  This is considered "artificial or virtual twinning".  Purposely having two kids that close in age is not generally looked upon positively in the adoption world, but we're pretty excited about it and how close the boys will all be!
• He lives in the Xinjiang Province, which is in northwest China. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xinjiang
•  His orphanage is in the city of Urumqi. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Cr%C3%BCmqi
• A friend in the adoption world met him when she was volunteering in China and wrote this wonderful blog post about him. It has more adorable videos and information!  http://waitingchildinfo.com/2008/07/01/shawn/

Joey has AMC, but it does NOT define who he is.   When we see Joey's face, we don't see a diagnosis. He is a human being (an absolutely adorable one at that!) and we know we're going to be blessed immeasurably by him.  We cannot wait to get him home!!

Paper Pregnant- Homestudy #3

All adoptions start with a Home Study. Home Studies in Ohio are good for 2 years and can be renewed for minimal money and work. Of course, we let our first home study expire because we just KNEW we were done adding to our family. Then along came Maggie.  Then we let her home study expire, because once again we KNEW we were done. Haha. So here we go on our 3rd Home Study.  Home Studies take around 3 months, give or take. They are a TON of work, but thankfully this feels like old hat by now. It's just so tedious and tests my patience time and again.  Here is what is required for our home study:

• detailed application
• 3-4 visits with a social worker during which we tell her our entire lives, personally, emotionally, medically, financially, etc. You name it, it's discussed. She even talks to the kids, what they like and what they think about the adoption.
• child abuse registry results (this takes 2-3 months to come back right now in Ohio and often holds up the completion of the home study
• medical checkups for Jeremy & I, bloodwork, health history, etc. and comments of support from doc
• medical forms for all the kiddos with pediatrician's comments of support
• vaccination and license records for the dogs and cats (I'm not kidding)
• BCII and FBI Fingerprints- they do not save them and they do not carry over. I cannot tell you how many times we have been fingerprinted
• employer reference
• friend references-3
• culture training-3 hours online. Thank GOODNESS our 10 hours of Hague training that we completed last time transferred!!
• data sheets with personal info
• financial statement-detailed info about our income, monthly expenditures and expenses. This is a doozy and takes forever!
• copies of utiltty bills
• IRS 1040
• fire Inspection by local fire company
• safety inspection by social worker
• marriage certificate, birth certificates
• copies of driver's licenses
• family picture
• copy of auto and home insurance
• millions of papers to sign
• guardian info
• and because we'll have 5 kids once he comes home, we also have to complete a Large Family Assessement which is a little extra paperwork and of course extra money

We started this Home Study beginning of December, so we're about 6 weeks into it. We are done with everything we can control- we put our heads down and busted out all those appointments and requirements quickly.  Now we're at the part I'm TERRIBLE at- waiting. Waiting for the child abuse registry results to come back and waiting for it all to be written up into a long, boring document that sums up who we are.  Once it's completed, it'll go through a review process with our home study agency and our placement agency before it's finally completed. 

Whew. It's the first of many steps in the process of bringing Joey home. We consider it all to be hoops to jump through. A pain, yes. Expensive, yes.  But we're happy to do it because it starts the ball rolling for him to join our family.

So we're paper pregnant- I'm nesting and dreaming of this child to come!  Please join us in praying us through the wait and for God to move along these "hoops" as quickly as possible!

Send Me - Our Journey to our New Son

The world is a mess, falling apart.  
Senseless suffering.

There are so many things I can't do.  
I can't single-handedly fight a war or change political policy. 

But I refuse to believe I can't do anything. 

I won't give up hope that there is good in the world.

There are things we can do, today.

Today, there are children around the world who are alone. 

I can't change that for all, but I can change that for one.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8)

So, here we go again. We're heading back to China!
Here's the story of our new son:

Through both processes to bring our girls home, we have changed, grown and stretched so much in terms of our faith.  We've learned that the children who need families are not defined by their special needs. They are human and they need love. That's all.

We've also learned things that we can't unlearn:

• There are so many more boys waiting in China than girls. 
• Boys are often overlooked for girls.  
• Being a boy over the age of 2 or 3 is a special need in and of itself. 
• When kids in China turn 14, they are no longer eligible for adoption and face a life of very uncertain terms.  Employment, education, social acceptance etc. are very unlikely for orphans who have aged out.

When we went to Maggie's orphanage, we saw things we can't unsee:

•  Children everywhere, stuck in their cribs for most of the day.
• Boys, girls, many, many special needs. 
• They were starving for food, love, attention.
• Few workers, few toys and little love.
• It was dark, quiet and devastating.  
• We also saw many people with special needs on the streets begging, because they were not given the opportunity to go to school, get a job and be treated equally.

The seed was planted in the back of our minds.

In the meantime, life was crazy, hectic, busy and overwhelming with 4 kids of varying needs.

As a member of many online adoptive groups, I see dozens of children listed every day who desperately need a family.  Countless times I would show Jeremy their faces, talk about their story and pray for them.  Some would stick in my mind for a while, but it's hard to remember them all.  Summer of 2014,  I saw the face of a little boy pop up. He caught my eye and I shared his pictures and video with Jeremy.  He melted our hearts, but after we saw how great his physical need was, we decided we couldn't handle all that he would need. 

Every so often, his face would pop up again and I couldn't get him off my mind. I tried advocating for him myself for a while. This past summer (2015), we requested his file to get more information. We had a leading doctor who specializes in his need go over his file (which he kindly did for free!) and got a better idea of his needs. But when we heard the word "wheelchair" we once again shut down any possibility of us bringing him home.  We just thought there was no way we could handle a child who was at times reliant on a wheelchair. We thought the decision was final, and continued to pray for  him.  

But something happened after we made that decision. I was sad. I felt lost. I couldn't explain it. Rationally in my mind, I knew our hands were full. I knew the decision was made. So I went through a period of trying to focus on the kids we had and enjoy our life.  And it was good for a while.

But God wasn't done yet. After a series of major "ah-ha" moments, we realized that we were limiting God's power. That we were making our decisions based on worldly beliefs instead of Godly beliefs.  

We couldn't get this one particular boy out of our mind for a reason. 

He stood out more than any other face we've seen-
because he's our son.

Previously we had focused on our fears:

• His special need is rare and severe. 
• He'll need surgeries, therapies, castings and extra help.
• Our plates would be too full.  
• We had no money for another adoption.

In time, though, we began to only see the Truths:

• He is a treasured child of God.
• He needs a family.
• We are immensely blessed.
• We have a lot of love to share.
• God will equip us.

We only get one chance at this life.  I want to live it to the very fullest of God's potential. I want to live it with open, willing hands.  I want to be a part of God's larger than life plan.

Now we view this sweet face as our son. We love him and are racing through paperwork to bring him home as soon as possible.  He has already lived over 7 years without a family.  This time is different from our first two processes: because he waited for so long without a family, we were matched with him first  and are now starting from scratch on all the paperwork.

His needs do not define him nor will they break us. In fact,we know they'll strengthen us.  We are going to be immensely blessed by him joining our family, just as we were blessed by Allie and Maggie. 

We are beyond excited.  Join us on our journey to bringing Joey home!

 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8)

Send Me.

Our New Addition

We're thrilled to announce our newest addition, Joseph Zhao Yu, age 7.  We covet your prayers as we begin the paper chase to bring him home.

 

 

Affording Adoption & Medical Treatment - Things We've Learned

How to Help with Adoption Costs
Many people say the reason they can't adopt is because it costs too much.  Here's a few things we've learned along the way that have saved us a bundle!

1.  There are many, many grants available for families in the adoption process.  Yes, it takes a little more time and paperwork to apply, but so worth it!

2.  Adoption Tax Credit- http://tax-credit.adoption.com/

3.  Fundraising- there are so many wonderful ways to fund raise, from auctions to events to garage sales...people usually want to help!

Also, foster care is typically FREE. In fact, often foster care parents get paid to do the training and receive a month stipend to help offset the costs of raising the child.


How to Help with Medical Costs
Adopting a special needs child can come with the fear of covering long term medical costs. We figured we'd have a running bill with children's hospital forever! We have been shocked to discover that there are lots of options out there: financial assistance, grants and special insurance included.   Since Maggie has come home, she has had private speech therapy, more doctor's visits than we can count to the surgeon, dentist, geneticist, ENT, pediatrician, international adoption clinic etc., plus a major reconstructive surgery of her mouth.  How much of that have we paid for out of our pocket since she came home 2 years ago? ZERO. ZERO DOLLARS (with the exception of sick visits at the pediatrician). Here's how:

She qualifies for BCMH here in Ohio, which is Bureau for Children with Medical Handicaps. They have covered medical care related to her cleft.  http://www.odh.ohio.gov/odhPrograms/cmh/cwmh/bcmh1.aspx

She also received services from Help Me Grow, a program in our county for children under the age of 3 to help children who are developmentally delayed. It's FREE and they come to your home!! Many counties offer similar programs.

Our children's hospital has financial advocates who help families know what help is available.  Our advocate has been such a Godsend, she has helped us receive financial aid, along with various grants- not just for Maggie but all our kids.  Amazing!

We also have taken advantage of United Healthcare's Grant. You do NOT Have to be a United Healthcare member to take advantage (we're not!).  They have helped pay for medical bills for our kiddos, such as Ben's surgery to have his tonsils removed and Allie's occupational therapy.  Another Godsend!    http://www.uhccf.org/

Of course, some of these things are dependent on income, how many kids are in your family and whether you're eligible.  And services/programs vary by county and state.  But they are definitely worth looking into!

Overlooked Special Need - Let's Hear it for the BOYS!

There are many, many children in China with special needs ranging from mild to severe.

But there's one need that's often very misunderstood and overlooked. 

Very simply, being a BOY is a very real, overlooked special need.  People often associate adopting from China with girls, but that's simply not the case anymore.  Now people are waiting months if not years for a baby girl, while there are thousands of boys that are ready and waiting for a family TODAY.  

Literally, call any Chinese adoption agency, tell them you are open to a boy and you could be matched immediately.

Adopting a Boy Video

Here's a great article with more info about adopting boys:

Love Without Boundaries - The Adoption of Boys

And here are just a few of the cuties waiting on our agency's Waiting Child list. Please visit CCAI's website for more information on each child.   http://ccaifamily.org/

I'm also happy to help!  jcoleman48@cinci.rr.com

Home 2 Years!

Two years ago today, Maggie Fei was placed in our arms.  

I can't get over how far she has come!!

Happy Gotcha Day, Maggie Fei!!

Maggie's Homecoming Video

Orphan Sunday, Every Day: Hearts Cracking

Disclaimer: This is a mixed up mess of my random thoughts and things I've learned from our church, adoption support groups, songs, etc.  Any mistakes are purely my own, and anything that sounds remotely wise can be credited to people much smarter than me.



Orphan Sunday
Today is Orphan Sunday, again.  It's a day dear to my heart because it brings much needed and deserved attention to the children who need a family. Here's a great short video describing the purpose of the day:

Orphan Sunday video 


It's true that many kids have been adopted since Orphan Sunday last November. Hundreds, maybe thousands, thankfully.  But an equally important fact is that there are millions who were not adopted since last year. Millions still waiting, equally deserving. 


Breaking Hearts
I love the song "Hosanna" by Hillsong United.  An excerpt and link to full song: 

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

We so often say, "Oh that's so sad. That breaks my heart." But does it really? Does that breaking of our hearts lead to a change, a bold perseverance of doing something about it?  I've often prayed for hearts to soften towards adoption and foster care. But lately I've felt the Holy Spirit revising this. He doesn't just want our hearts to soften, but for them to CRACK WIDE OPEN to the point that we can't help but be moved to action.


Clear Direction
Adoption is hard. Often times we only see the "sunshine and rainbows" aspect of adoption, when the forever family is together in a smiley moment. But being adopted often means kids grieving the loss of their biological family.  They have likely been through things we can't imagine.  God wants us to join them in their brokenness and show them God's love. Meet them right where they are and just BE with them.  God is clear on what he wants from us:

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."  (Matthew 25:40)

 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  (James 1:27)

"I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you. (John 14:18)

More Than a Number
It's easy to see the statistics about the orphans as merely numbers. But we must remember that behind every number is a face, a story, a human being that is just as loved by God as our biological children are. I often ask myself how I would feel if I was unable to care for my children and they were in an orphanage alone. I imagine my sweet boys left in a crib for hours a day with no one to smile at him, hug him, play with him. No one to show him that he MATTERS. That's the way to get my heart to just BREAK. If that were the case, I would be desperate for someone to see them and step out in faith for them.  For all the children needing families, there are unseen birth families behind them hoping desperately for someone to help their child.  As much as I love my children, God loves ALL CHILDREN.  And they deserve a family as much as our kids do.

Comfort
Here's where it gets sticky.  I have heard people say many, many times that they would love to adopt if they could. But they want to provide a certain life for their children. A life that includes a certain level of cushion, comfort, travel, extra "stuff". Why do we have this viewpoint? This is a worldly view for sure, but not of God at all.  Those distractions and temptations of the world are not what we were put here for.  I promise you, you won't miss all those "extras" when you hold a child in your arms who was former an orphan and is now your son or daughter.

God wants us to be awake and alert to what Satan is doing in this world. And one of the things Satan does is convince us  that our comfort, control and security is more important than the people down the road or across the world.  Today and everyday, let's pray for hearts to crack, fears to fall and eyes to be opened wide. I pray for boldness to lift us into action. I pray for hands wide open and willing to do His will and His work.  We miss out on so much when we let our fears and ways of the world determine our steps.  But when we give Jesus the reigns and let faith carry us, miracles happen.

Proverbs 3:5-6  ⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Jesus didn't by-pass the needy. He came to them, walked and ate and lived alongside them.  He wants us to get dirty, to roll up our sleeves and jump in.  Take a risk with our time, our talents, our treasures.  And by sacrificing more of ourselves, we get to have a little taste of what it was like for Him.  So let's ask, are we filling ourselves up with the wrong things?  Big houses, busy schedules, vacations... these things trick us into thinking they should come first. But none of that lasts. But inviting a child into your family, that lasts forever.  

Jesus is enough. He will fill us daily and give us what we need. The more we give out, the more He'll refill us with the patience, wisdom, and endurance we need every day.   It's very true, none of us can adopt or foster on our own. But with God at the wheel, there's no end to what we can do. He is our source of power and will sustain us.  Taking this step means the world will look at us differently. Some won't understand what we're doing or why we're doing it. And that's okay, we'll be steadfast in our faith. (1 Corinthians 15:58)

I love that we have a God who stands up for the meek, the needy, the poor, the fatherless.  God always wins, and I always want to be on his team.  Saying we can't adopt because it's too hard, it's too expensive, I don't have time, I just couldn't do it... those aren't truths.  God's Truths are to "Love God and Love One Another" (Luke 10:27) and that's all we need to focus on. The rest will fall into place, because He is faithful and will do the work through us.


Dare
I dare us to be bold. I dare us to be counter-cultural. I dare us to make people think we are crazy by opening up our homes, our lives, our hearts.  That's the stuff that changes the world.  When we play it safe and stay in our comfort zone, life passes us by.   Let us be rooted in the Word and not the World. When we read the Word, believe the Word and then LIVE the Word, God will redeem.  And we can be a part of it!


Holy Spirit, stir in us. Make us start to feel uncomfortable. Call us to do your work despite our fears and excuses.  Help us to say yes to God and no to the norm.  Help us to move forward even when we're scared to death and we don't know what we're doing.  Make us brave.

  "... for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose."  Philippians 2:13

What is in the back of your mind? What is the Holy Spirit whispering (or shouting!) to you?  What "crazy" idea is God waiting for you to say yes to?  Instead of over-analyzing it, if you HEAR it,  then TRUST it, and MOVE.


Front Seat
I can tell you from experience - it will be hard. Harder than you can ever imagine. And it probably won't turn out the way you had planned. But it will be good and rich and satisfying to lean into God in those times and be carried through by Him. And there is nothing better than having a front seat to God's amazing power of redemption for that little boy or girl that you said yes to!

" For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home."  (Matthew 25:35)
  

"This calls for patient endurance on the part of the people of God who keep his commands and remain faithful to Jesus."  (Revelations 14:12⁾

To the orphans
You are not alone. You are a treasured child of God and He sees you and He loves you.   "But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless."  (Psalm 10:14)


Bottom Line
It's not about MY strength, MY control, MY plan, MY abilities, MY desires. Frankly, it's not about me at all.  It's all about letting God do His thing through me.  And as one of our pastor's says "When I think something can't be done, I'm short-changing God's power." (David Smith, Northstar Church)

 

 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  (Hebrews 12:1-2)

If you feel moved to foster or adopt, I'd love to help you get started.

jcoleman48@cinci.rr.com

Kings and Queens by Audio Adrenaline

Kings and Queens lyrics:  
Little hands, shoeless feet
Lonely eyes looking back at me
Will we leave behind the innocent to grieve?
On their own, on the run
When their lives have only begun
These could be our daughters and our sons
And just like a drum I can hear their hearts beating
I know my God won't let them be defeated
Every child has a dream to belong and be loved
(Chorus)
Boys become kings, girls will be queens
Wrapped in Your majesty
When we love, when we love the least of these
Then they will be brave and free
Shout Your name in victory
When we love, when we love the least of these
When we love the least of these
Break our hearts once again
Help us to remember when
We were only children hoping for a friend
Won't you look around
These are the lives that the world has forgotten
Waiting for doors of our hearts and our homes to open
Chorus
If not us, who will be like Jesus
To the least of these
If not us tell me who will be like Jesus
Like Jesus to the least of these
Boys become kings, girls will be queens
Wrapped in your majesty
When we love, when we love the least of these
Then they will be brave and free shout your name in victory
We will love we will love the least of these
We will love the least of these (Repeat)
 

We've Been Quiet

I've been quiet on my blog for quite a while.  I've had a lot of things stirring in me the past year or so and I've been trying to sort them out.  I  struggle to continue to put pictures of my family and our daily activities on the blog when there are children who are fatherless and forgotten all around the world. It's a bitterness I struggle with every day. Why are my kids so lucky? Why are there millions of others who are not? What am I supposed to do about that?

We needed time and change.  We had been feeling an urge to change churches, which was a really big deal for us.  We couldn't explain it, but finally gave into the urge in January. Now looking back over the past year, I can say "Ooooohhhhh, now I get it!" Yep, God knew what he was doing when He called us to our new church. It's been a fresh start for us, a re-awakening that we didn't even know we needed.  Our new church is also so close now that we walk or bike most Sundays, and the kids go to church with friends from school. It's pretty neat and we're feeling more connected to the community we live in, and we're very thankful for that.

We also needed time.  For the past 10 years, Jeremy and I have either been having babies or bringing home babies.  Ben was 15 months old when I got pregnant with Sam. Sam was 5 months old when we started the process to bring Allie home. Allie was not quite 2 when we started Maggie's process.  We were always planning for that next baby, which kept us busy to say the least.  But I like busy, I like projects, to-do lists, things I can accomplish.

But after Maggie came home, we clearly felt God telling us to STOP.  Not necessarily stop forever, but stop for now. And that was really hard for me, not because I wanted another baby- in fact I was pretty sure I DIDN'T! - but because it's so hard for me to be still.  To just be where I am, fully present with no big plan to work on other than regular life.  I get bored and restless. But I knew that I had to restrain and be more comfortable in a quiet place.  To hold back on dreaming about that next baby or some other next big thing in our lives.  It's hard, but also really good for me.  I've enjoyed more one-on-one time with each kid, more time to read, take naps, etc.  I continue to have to be very purposeful in that surrender.

Honestly, I went to that place of surrender kicking and screaming at first. I would lay awake at night wondering why we had to stop, there's so much more that could be done. Were we supposed to adopt again? Were we supposed to move? Was I supposed to go back to work?  My mind was all over the place for a while, but I kept hearing God telling me to just be still.

Looking back, amazing things have come from that surrendering.  I now have 4 mornings a week to myself while all 4 kiddos are at school.  I am giddy to have a little bit of time to myself for the first time as a parent.   We've also been able to address some needs of our kiddos and are seeing some positive progress.  It might sound silly, but addressing some ongoing problems and getting help for them feels really good.

Allie was diagnosed with sensory issues, which explains a lot about her behavior struggles. We spent the summer going to a wonderful Occupational Therapist who helped us help her to cope with daily life and her emotions better. We also spent time with a fantastic counselor who helped us get a better window into Allie's broken heart and how we can help mend it a little bit more. We're also praying like never before for her. And boy does it feel good to report that the progress she has made is amazing! She went from a child who cried at the drop of a hat over nothing to a child who is more joyful and content. To be clear, she's not "fixed", those struggles may never be completely gone.  I think she'll probably always wrestle with all that she has been through, but now we're much more equipped to handle that and help her.

***Side Funny:  We've always been super open with both our girls about their adoption stories. Allie can repeat her story verbatim. But yesterday she told me that she was born in an airport in Michigan and is telling her friends that fact. Um, no, my dear. You were born in Korea and you were escorted home to an airport in Michigan. :) :) :)  Funny, but clearly demonstrates her lack of true understanding of her story.

Maggie's speech delay was becoming more alarming by the day. There was just very little progress and by the time she was 3, she had the speech skills of maybe a 15 month old (that's probably being generous). But we're thrilled to report that she qualified for speech services at our local preschool (same building where Allie attends kindergarten) and is on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that will better address her needs.  She is even riding the bus ( oh yes she is and she LOVES it ) and is finally, finally starting to show some steps of progress.  It's going to be a long, slow process for her, but we're so thankful for the peace we've been give knowing she's in the right place.  She has literally come alive since starting school 3 weeks ago, so independent and confident. Comparing that to the terrified baby in the orphanage crib 2 years ago and WOW.  God is so good.

So much focus has been on the girls in the past few years and their very big needs.  Our boys are affected by that of course, but have mostly handled it all very well.  Having the time to slow down, though, and just enjoy them has been precious.  They are getting to the age that we are hesitating to share too many details about their private lives. They deserve privacy.  So while I'll refrain from going into their specific details, I'll say that there are some things they struggle with in their lives too and we are of course 1000% behind them every day.  They are blossoming in their own ways and I'm so lucky to be their mom.

Thinking back on all of that, I totally get why God told us to not consider another adoption or any other big "thing" in our lives since Maggie came home. We had a whole lotta big things going on right inside our home.  Those big things aren't going to just disappear, we'll always have to deal with them, but now I feel like we are getting a better hold on things. It's been so amazing to see prayers answers and burdens lifted.  We also needed time for ourselves, both in our marriage and personally.  Frankly, we needed to rest!

I'm chuckling to call where we are "restful" because every day is insanity with 4 young kiddos.  Let's be real -someone is always sick, hurt, crying, pooping, hungry or mad. There is always a mess and always someone who needs something.  We are exhausted by 8pm.  But it's restful in comparison to adoption paperwork, trip to China, cleft surgery,etc., that's for sure!  And we wouldn't trade any of it.

I don't know where we're going from here, only God knows that. What we're sure about is we want to live our lives according to God's will for us. I don't know if He'll lead us to other "big" places or if this place of "rest" is our new normal. Either way, we're okay with it.  Regardless, we're very grateful for the healing that's happening in our house, for the peace coming with it, and for this sweet time with our babies.