Speedy Log-In-Date!!!

We had prepared ourselves for at least a couple week wait for our Log-In-Date, but instead it came in only 4 days!!!   Our Dossier is officially logged in to the CCCWA's system as of May 17!! 

We are now in the LOA (Letter of Approval) wait.  This could take 1-3 months (or more). Last time this was a 71 day wait and nearly stole my sanity. :)  There is no rhyme or reason to how long it takes, so we just wait, wait, wait!

In the meantime, another care package is on its way to China!! This one has some toys and clothes, along with a book with our pictures labeled in Mandarin that shows him who we all are and telling him that we love him!! Oh how I wish we could be there when he opens it.

We so appreciate our support system. It warms my heart that people ask about Joey every day, inquire about where we are in the process, how we're doing, etc. Thank you for that, it means so much to us. 
 

Mountains are Moving - a BIG 6 month update

It has been 6 months today that we submitted LOI (Letter of Intent) for Joey.  It was a HUGE leap of faith for us and we had no idea what the journey would bring. 

These past 6 months has been CRAZY.  We have been in a flurry of activity getting another home study done and doing all the insane amounts of paperwork together for that and our dossier.  We've had doctors appointments, fingerprints, and been to the notary and Fed Ex more times than we can count.  We've had our final copy of our homestudy temporarily LOST thanks to Fed Ex, and have had so many delays that are typical for an adoption process.

It's no coincidence that this first phase of the process has come to a close as we hit the 6 month mark. Friday was a huge milestone, our Dossier was finally "DTC", which means "Dossier to China".  A Dossier is basically our life on paper, everything from finances, to family history to health information to marriage information... you name it, it's in the Dossier. Everything had to be notarized, then certified by the Secretary of State and then authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in New York. (Interesting side note about the last step- The Chinese Consulate doesn't accept MAIL, so we have to hire a courier who we pay to accept our paperwork via mail and then walk into the consulate for us, drop it off, go back and get it when it's done days later, then mail it back to us.  See what I mean about CRAZY?!?)

Everyone wants to know, what happens next? Here are our next steps in very general terms:

LID- Once China has our dossier, they will log it into their system and they'll give us our "Log In Date".  That basically means they are acknowledging that they have our paperwork!  Waiting for LID usually takes a few weeks to a month.

LOA- Once we have our LID, then we wait for our LOA (Letter of Acceptance), which is basically China officially giving us permission to adopt Joey.  (We already have PA for him (Preliminary Approval), but LOA is much more official).  LOA usually takes 2-3 months, and for me was the most excruciating part of the wait last time.

TA- Travel Approval.  Between LOA and TA, several big important steps have to happen that can take several months.  Once we have TA, we can then plan our trip to bring him home!

We are still guessing that we'll be able to travel to bring him home sometime this fall, with October as my best guess right now.  It's all so variable, though, so we'll just have to wait and see!

One of the biggest challenges in international adoption is cost.  Especially when this is our third adoption in 5 years!  We've estimated that if both of our boys travel with us to China, we'll need a total of around $37,000 for the adoption process. That's a huge number to have to come up with in less than a year's time!!  In fact, the cost of adoption is one of the biggest reasons why many people choose not to adopt.  But we're proof that it's very possible; in fact, taking a leap of faith is an opportunity for God to shine and move mountains!

I believe in being as transparent as possible because one of my greatest hopes is for people to realize that we are just a normal family who simply said yes to adoption, and you can do it too!. We are not special and we certainly don't have $37,000 to spare.  We are a one income family and Jeremy is a mechanic, and money is tight.  We had NO MONEY set aside for this adoption when we started and no plan for where it would come from.  NONE.  ZERO.  But we had faith that Joey was ours and the money would work itself out.

So it's been 6 months since we started, and in that time we've been blessed with many donations from friends, family and anonymous donors.  We're blown away by the level of support we have!  We also have had several friends do some jewelry fundraisers to help raise  money, and of course we held the garage sale to fund raise as well.  We've also applied for over 20 grants and been blessed with 5 grants so far!

Today is 6 months to the day that we said yes to Joey. In those six months, via donations, fundraisers, a garage sale and grant money, we have raised over $30,000 to bring Joey home!!!! Yes, we have raised nearly all of the funds we need for the entire process!!!

Folks, there is only one explanation. Yes, we had to put forth some effort on the grants and the fundraisers, but we cannot take any credit for the fact that over $30,000 has come in in 6 months time. We give all credit to God. He called us to this particular little boy. He called us to step out on the water, take a huge leap of faith financially and simply say YES. He asked us to trust him and let Him work, and boy did He!!!

We share this because we pray that more families will no longer consider the financial aspect as a reason to say no to adoption. If God is whispering to your heart about adoption, then listen. He has a plan that's so much bigger than we can imagine, if you give Him the chance to shine!

We feel confident that the final funds we need will come; we don't know how, but we're leaving it up to our mighty God who is moving mountains to bring our new son home.




If you'd like to contribute, we are still taking donations for our matching grant. You can find information for that here:  Joey's Matching Grant

Our Village

They say it takes a village and boy is that the truth.

Total disclosure:  I didn't want to do a garage sale. I swore after Maggie's we'd never do it again, even though it helped us bring her home. It was stressful and time-consuming and YUCK. I'd much rather donate my old stuff so I really didn't want to collect other people's stuff!

BUT.

When God calls us to something, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. We have to swallow our pride and get our hands dirty sometimes.  And I realized as our donation pile grew that the sale was a very tangible way for us to be Joey's parents from afar.  We can't hold his hand or look into his eyes or tuck him in yet, but we could do this.  And it turned into something miraculous.

We asked for donations and they came.

We asked for tables.  I panicked a bit about the lack of tables. We asked again. THEY CAME.  I would come home to find stacks of tables piled outside our garage. In the end I had to turn away tables. Amazing.

We asked for help working the sale. Help came.

We asked you to share and shop. You shared and you shopped.

We asked for prayers. You prayed.

Y'all, this wasn't a fundraiser, it was  GOD-RAISER.  God showed up so big for this sale, and not just monetarily. I have so much to share, so many amazing miracles that I'm still trying to process it all. I'm in shock and awe at how it worked for the good of not just our family, but others as well.  We give all praise and all glory to our loving God.  My words won't do it justice, but I'll try to share a bit of the amazing stories.

First, everyone wants to know the number-how much did we make?  I don't have a final number yet as we're still selling a few bigger items on Craigslist, but friends, we raise over $5000 from this sale!!! That's double what we made in our last sale.  And every cent goes directly towards bringing Joey home.  We didn't dare even hope to make that much and we are just blown away!

But as I said, that's only part of the story.  Here's some other amazing things God did through our sale:

A cousin offered to loan us an empty 15 foot trailer to park in our driveway and fill with donations. I thought there was no way we'd fill up that trailer, but it became PACKED, as did our garage and living room.  That trailer was such a blessing!

In the weeks building up to the sale, my mom was my sidekick. Despite recently having knee surgery, she came nearly every day for hours, helping me sift through other people's things, sort them and price them. She helped me talk through a plan, brought me iced tea and lunch and literally walked through every step with me.  I'm so grateful, we truly couldn't have done it without her.

It quickly became unbelievably time-consuming and overwhelming. We had SO MUCH STUFF. It filled my garage, a 15 foot trailer and our living room to the brim. It seemed like to high a mountain to climb, especially as the start of the sale approached and I literally had to eat, sleep and breathe the sale in order to be ready on time. 

 But the day of the sale, I felt the mood shift. The air became thick with the Holy Spirit. I don't know any other way to describe it. He was there and I became filled with peace that God was not only going to make magic of the sale, but that it was much bigger than just the dollar amount.

As the sale approached, weather looked ominous. I didn't know how we would be able to set up in time with the storms predicted. My prayer warrior friend called me the morning of the first day of the sale and caught me panicking. She  immediately began to pray for God to chase the storms away and my panic eased. A few hours later, the same friend came to help a group of us set up for the sale. The skies were actually sunny despite a strong prediction for bad weather. At one point, though, we heard thunder in the distance and I said, "I heard thunder." and my praying friend confidently said, "No you didn't. It's not coming."  And it didn't. It passed right on by and never dripped more than a couple drops on us. We went on to open successfully that first night and made over $1200 in just 2 hours!!!

A couple came to pick up an appliance we were selling and asked why we had so many things to sell. We explained it was an adoption fundraiser, and their eyes grew so large, clearly shocked for some reason. They then shared that they've dealt with infertility for many years and also lost a son at birth. They had never considered adoption, yet on the way to our house, not knowing we were an adoption fundraiser, they talked about adoption as a possibility for the very first time.  There were tears all around as they shared their story and I shared ours. They met my girls and I watched their hearts open to the possibility of building their family in a different way than they had planned. We're keeping in contact and I can't wait to see how God uses this couple in the future! 

Near the start of the sale, a neighbor came, grabbed ahold of me with tears in her eyes, and said "God is going to bless you and bless Joey and bless so many others because of this sale."  It was just the confirmation I needed that we were doing the right thing.

As a busy family with 4 active kids, we needed help running the sale itself. We literally couldn't do it by ourselves.  We were so humbled by our friends and family who showed up to help us for hours on end, take money, load cars, arrange items and share our story.  Some friends were literally with me for days on end, they literally walked through nearly the entire sale with us. Amazing.

A sweet neighbor couple we had never met came to shop and introduce themselves. Turns out they have always felt called to adopt, and plans were made to chat in the future and help them get started on their journey.

Lots of shoppers had questions about adoption. So many people just aren't aware of the staggering number of orphans in the world. I love the opportunity to spread awareness and to hear my friends who were working the sale share with strangers about orphan care.  It wasn't about what they bought, but that they walked away with a new perspective on the need of orphans.

A woman came to shop and I noticed she had a name tag on from our school district. Turns our she oversees the Occupational Therapy department for our district-really cool since Joey will be receviing a lot of OT services once he's home!

A young couple was shopping and carrying their very tiny new baby. This beautiful baby with bright red hair just happened to have Down Syndrome. The baby was very young and they were just beginning to wrap their brains around life with a child with special needs. My mom was able to share our story and how we adore our children regardless of special needs and we as parents of special needs are blessed to be the ones to care for them. So heartwarming.

A woman came searching me out. She saw our sale advertised as an adoption fundraiser and she said she couldn't believe the timing and had to come speak to me. She and her husband have 4 biological children and she has felt God lay on her heart that they should adopt, even though life is crazy and hectic with 4 kids.  She didn't know where to start, though, and felt called to come find me via our sale. She was in tears telling me she felt that she was meant to meet me.  I told her that Jeremy and I love to meet with couples to share our story and help couples get started on the path towards adoption.  We've already made plans to chat, I can't wait to see where their journey takes them!

We had friends donate baked goods to be sold and it seemed like we had way too much donated and I wondered what we were going to do with all the perishable leftovers. But at the end of the last day, we had just 3 cookies left. Perfection.

Jeremy wasn't able to take time off work for the sale since he's saving time for our China trip, plus the boys had ball games most of the day on Saturday. I was feeling so bummed that he would miss the majority of the sale. But both of their games ended up being canceled on Saturday, so he was there with me the entire day, lifting me up when I felt I had nothing left to give.

Rain wasn't an issue on day 1 of the sale, but by day 3  it was coming. No worries, though, because our village, our people, worked it out for us. We had dear, dear friends come on Friday afternoon and rework our entire set up so that it fit completely under 6 canopies and in our garage. We wouldn't have been able to do that on the first 2 days of the sale because we simply had too much inventory. But by Day 3, it all fit.  Saturday was a rainy, cold day and we planned to offer things at half off and even close early. When will I learn not to doubt our God? People came in DROVES through the rain. People ducked their heads and stepped over puddles, and brushed off raindrops and bought and bought and bought. The rain never let up and we couldn't even take a break we had so many customers. It makes no sense at all that that many people would come shop in the rain, it was simply a miracle.  Even as we were packing up for the day, people were digging through boxes to buy things.

St. Vincent de Paul came at 3:15 on the last day of the sale and loaded up their truck with every last item that wasn't sold. I was so, so, SO happy to see the last of the stuff go, especially knowing it's going to a great place.  We had faithful friends who stayed through all that rain and cold and dreariness and helped us load up that St. Vincent de Paul truck and clean up.

Matthew 25 Ministries called me when they saw our sale advertised and said they were in great need of clothing.  They came to get all the leftover clothes that did not sell and it's was abundance of clothes. We're so thankful that we're able to fill a need for them!

Even now,  I'm still getting contacted about our sale, by people who want more information about adopting.   We met people who we have unbelievable connections and "coincidences" with and the ripple effect just keeps on spreading.

Y'all it was simply amazing. We didn't stop for 3 days straight and we're still cleaning up, returning tables, resting up, etc. but it was SO WORTH it.  We had to sacrifice time and energy to get it done. We had to sacrifice our poor kiddos the past few weeks in order to get things ready. They had more junk food and screen time and no naps and  unsupervised time than I care to admit, but they powered through. I think they enjoyed the extra freedom actually! (All but poor Maggie, who is stressed by company on a good day, so having streams of people come in for 3 days straight was more than she could take.)  We had extra kids here throughout, as their parents helped us, and they played and played and played. We had strangers use our bathroom. My house was filthy, and as a Type A person, this does not bode well for me, but it was WORTH IT.

Worth it because, yes, we raised a ton of money to help get Joey home.

But worth it also because seeds were planted. Hearts were touched and maybe even broken for children without families. God reminded me yet again about the ripple effect that one simple act like a garage sale can cause.  I felt like God was chuckling at me saying, "Silly girl, you thought this was JUST a sale."  I'm praying that more kiddos find their forever families by a tiny seed that was planted this last weekend.  I was also constantly reminded of the story in Matthew 14 of the loaves of bread and fish being multiplied. Truly, we saw blessings multiply throughout the process of the sale and it was amazing to be a part of.

And to our village. How can we thank you enough? You know who you are- and you're amazing.  You sorted, priced, lifted, worked, organized, fed us, prayed, shared and shopped.  We literally could not have done it without you. A thank you note is not enough, words are not enough,but just know that we'll never forget. You'll always be a part of Joey's story.

To our new son: We are coming, sweet boy.  You have a village of people who love and care for you and can't wait to welcome you home!
 

      

 

I had 2 theme songs during this season of our life:

Ever Be by Kalley Heiligenthal

God is on the Move by 7eventh Time Down

Come Shop our Sale!!!

Help Needed

We've been blown away by the generous donations to our garage sale!  Friends, family and even strangers have dropped off items for us to sell and we're so grateful.

What we really are in desperate need of  is help to work the sale!  We also are in great need of tables. If you're local and are able to help in either of those ways, we'd be so very appreciative. 

 Click here to sign up:  Link to Garage Sale Help

Also, spread the word!

Garage Sale Helpers

We are in need of helpers to help us set up and run our garage sale! 

Here are the general times, but we'll take any time you can give!
 

Thursday April 28th, Set-up 4-6pm
 

 Thursday April 28th, Preview Night 6pm-Dark
 

Friday April 29th, 9am-3pm
 

Saturday April 30th, 9am-3pm
 

(will also need help earlier than 9am to set up Fri & Sat)

We are also still accepting donations for the sale! 

We have a 15foot trailer parked in our driveway to help store items, 

so we'll gladly take anything! 

Thank you!

 

Help Us Bring Joey Home!

Talking about adoption costs isn't the most exciting topic, but it's part of the process and something we have to figure out each time.  This adoption is going to cost around $35,000. It's a huge leap of faith to begin such an expensive process not knowing where the funds are going to come from, but God showed up big time for us for both Allie and Maggie's process and we have no doubt He can do it again! :)

We have a few things in the works and would be honored to have your help!

Matching Grant:
We have been blessed to receive a matching grant to help cover funds to bring Joey home.  We are so grateful to Lifesong for Orphans and Chosen & Dearly Loved for their support in helping us cover the adoption expenses!

If you're interested in contributing, CLICK HERE for more information.

Also, for more information about Lifesong for Orphans, CLICK HERE. 


Garage Sale:
We also are having a huge fundraising garage sale on April 29th and 30th. We're accepting donations of items to be sold, so if you're local and have things you're getting rid of, we'll gladly take them off your hands!  Please contact me at jcoleman48@cinci.rr.com if you have donations!


Noonday Sale:
Also, a dear friend hosted a Noonday sale for us.  Noonday offers fair trade jewelry and other gorgeous items, and we'll receive 10% of the sales.  If you're interested, you can purchase online through April 12th.   Here's the link for that:  NOONDAY SALE


Most importantly, we continue to covet your prayers for our new son and our family as we walk this process and prepare for Joey to join our family.  

Many, many, many thanks!!!


 

 





 

A New Update on Joey!!!

We recently got an unexpected update on Joey! Unexpected is the BEST way to get an update in the adoption process. When we are expecting one, I just obsess over my email waiting for it to come. This was a total surprise and so wonderful!!

We got 2 new pictures of our guy.  His front teeth are growing in and I think he looks so much older, which makes me sad that we are missing out on so much.  But he also looks a little healthier than the last pictures, so that's comforting.

He is really tiny and our Adoption Doc says he's nowhere near the growth chart and we'll have to address that when he gets home. But that's not terribly uncommon for a kiddo growing up in an orphanage, unfortunately.  He'll be 8 years old this summer and he's the size of our 5 year old.  I can't wait to fatten him up!!!

Yet again, he is described as a happy-go-lucky kid who is quick to give a smile and a hand to others.  The update also said he can walk about 21 yards and can climb the stairs on his own.  It also said he can feed himself and help out with some of his self care. These were things we were wondering about, so it's great information to have.  He also apparently is obsessed with Spider-Man!  We love little details like that, it makes it feel like we know him a little better.

Another fun fact: His Chinese name Zhao Yu is pronounced "Jow Yoo", which we'll keep as his middle names. So he'll be Joseph Zhao Yu Coleman. We've been practicing the pronunciation!  Another very cool fact is Maggie's middle names are Yu Fei, so they have the "Yu" name in common!

He lives with a foster family within the orphanage and also gets some schooling within the orphanage.  From what we've heard, his orphanage is better than many in China, which is such a blessing. But it's not substitute for a family, proper health care and schooling, so we need to get him home asap!!

Our dossier (fancy word for "our life on paper") is at our agency ready and waiting except for ONE item, which is approval from the United States Government. Once that comes, we can submit everything to China and get the ball rolling on their side of things.  We've made a lot of paperwork progress, but it's still looking like we won't be able to travel until fall sometime.  As much as I'm anxious to get him home, we're trying to relish where we are right now and make the most of these last months as a family of 6.

Fundraiser for Joey!

My sweet friend, Abbie Bast, is hosting an online fundraiser for Joey's adoption! The fundraiser offers KEEP Collective jewelry, which is a sister company to Stella & Dot jewelry, and is all about creating pieces that are meaningful to you. We're so grateful she is donating 25-30% of all sales to help bring our little guy home!  There are so many ways to create beautiful pieces of jewelry!  See below for how it works and for some examples. Thank you so much Abbie!!!

You can click on the link below to shop, and also contact Abbie directly.  

 

Shopping Link:

https://www.keep-collective.com/soc/b9q20 

Abbie Bast - AbbieG99@yahoo.com
(989) 284-0801

Our Special Guy

While we are still 8-10 months away from bringing Joey home, he's on our mind constantly.  Right now I'm working on his second care package we hope to send him soon. It's so different preparing care packages for a 7 year old kid versus a baby.  What does he like? What does he need? What is he able to do with his hands/body given his physical limitations? Will they even give him the package and let him keep the things we put so much thought into? What about all the other kids there who aren't getting care packages, how will that make them feel?

We're just doing the best we can and hope he gets it and hope he feels the love from us.  I'm making him a little photo book with pictures of us and our family. It's so strange to choose pictures that will be his first glimpse of us!  What will he think of us?  I pray that his little heart will be filled with hope and the knowledge that we're working hard to get him home.

We've had amazing response and support from our friends and family since our announcement! Lots of you have asked specifics about his special need, so here's what we know.

His paperwork says he has "multiple joint contracture", which likely means he has Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita, or AMC.  We're still learning, but from what we understand so far, Arthrogryposis is non progressive, and affects his joints. Every person with Arthgryposis is affected differently, to varying degrees.  His affects the joints in his upper and lower limbs. What that means is his elbows, wrists, knees and ankles do not bend correctly. We're not sure about his shoulders and hips, and club feet is also included in his diagnosis.

At first glance, it's a lot. His body is different and always will be. While it's not progressive, it's also not completely correctable either.  What we can tell already, though, is that this kid is full of spunk and determination and is already a pro at modifying things so that he can function.  Some people with AMC are completely dependent on wheelchairs, but Joey can walk! It's not a "typical" walk but it's truly amazing that he walks! He can't walk for long periods of time or long distances, though, so he does sometimes use a wheelchair.  We had a leading doctor for AMC review his file for us and he said it's really crazy good that he is walking and is a testament to his determination. In fact, what we've heard from other parents of kiddos with AMC is that in general they tend to be very determined, high spirited and happy kids.  I'm thinking maybe he's gonna teach us a thing or two. :)

From the videos and pictures we have of him, he is able to hold a pencil to write, can sit in a chair and play and enjoy typical kid activities despite having to modify things a bit to make it happen.  While he has had at least one surgery and possibly some therapies in China, there are so many more things we can do to help him once he's home.  We don't know exactly what his treatment plan will entail, but it most likely will be a combination of surgeries, castings and occupational and physical therapy. We feel blessed and honored that we get to be the ones to be his advocate and get him the care that he absolutely deserves.

Some other things we know about him:  He lives with foster parents at the orphanage.  We're grateful that it appears that he is getting some schooling at his orphanage. A US program called Half the Sky Foundation helps to support his orphanage and we believe that he is benefiting from the schooling and care that that program provides. 

An update on him from last July said the following about him:  "His spirit is good. He is intelligent and lively. He likes to spread happiness to the children around him. When other children need help, he will enthusiastically go to help them. Zhao Yu is good at using language to express his ideas and thoughts."  That just fills my momma heart!

Other fun facts: 

• His birthday is July 24, 2008, which means he's only about 4 months younger than Sam.  This is considered "artificial or virtual twinning".  Purposely having two kids that close in age is not generally looked upon positively in the adoption world, but we're pretty excited about it and how close the boys will all be!
• He lives in the Xinjiang Province, which is in northwest China. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xinjiang
•  His orphanage is in the city of Urumqi. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Cr%C3%BCmqi
• A friend in the adoption world met him when she was volunteering in China and wrote this wonderful blog post about him. It has more adorable videos and information!  http://waitingchildinfo.com/2008/07/01/shawn/

Joey has AMC, but it does NOT define who he is.   When we see Joey's face, we don't see a diagnosis. He is a human being (an absolutely adorable one at that!) and we know we're going to be blessed immeasurably by him.  We cannot wait to get him home!!

Paper Pregnant- Homestudy #3

All adoptions start with a Home Study. Home Studies in Ohio are good for 2 years and can be renewed for minimal money and work. Of course, we let our first home study expire because we just KNEW we were done adding to our family. Then along came Maggie.  Then we let her home study expire, because once again we KNEW we were done. Haha. So here we go on our 3rd Home Study.  Home Studies take around 3 months, give or take. They are a TON of work, but thankfully this feels like old hat by now. It's just so tedious and tests my patience time and again.  Here is what is required for our home study:

• detailed application
• 3-4 visits with a social worker during which we tell her our entire lives, personally, emotionally, medically, financially, etc. You name it, it's discussed. She even talks to the kids, what they like and what they think about the adoption.
• child abuse registry results (this takes 2-3 months to come back right now in Ohio and often holds up the completion of the home study
• medical checkups for Jeremy & I, bloodwork, health history, etc. and comments of support from doc
• medical forms for all the kiddos with pediatrician's comments of support
• vaccination and license records for the dogs and cats (I'm not kidding)
• BCII and FBI Fingerprints- they do not save them and they do not carry over. I cannot tell you how many times we have been fingerprinted
• employer reference
• friend references-3
• culture training-3 hours online. Thank GOODNESS our 10 hours of Hague training that we completed last time transferred!!
• data sheets with personal info
• financial statement-detailed info about our income, monthly expenditures and expenses. This is a doozy and takes forever!
• copies of utiltty bills
• IRS 1040
• fire Inspection by local fire company
• safety inspection by social worker
• marriage certificate, birth certificates
• copies of driver's licenses
• family picture
• copy of auto and home insurance
• millions of papers to sign
• guardian info
• and because we'll have 5 kids once he comes home, we also have to complete a Large Family Assessement which is a little extra paperwork and of course extra money

We started this Home Study beginning of December, so we're about 6 weeks into it. We are done with everything we can control- we put our heads down and busted out all those appointments and requirements quickly.  Now we're at the part I'm TERRIBLE at- waiting. Waiting for the child abuse registry results to come back and waiting for it all to be written up into a long, boring document that sums up who we are.  Once it's completed, it'll go through a review process with our home study agency and our placement agency before it's finally completed. 

Whew. It's the first of many steps in the process of bringing Joey home. We consider it all to be hoops to jump through. A pain, yes. Expensive, yes.  But we're happy to do it because it starts the ball rolling for him to join our family.

So we're paper pregnant- I'm nesting and dreaming of this child to come!  Please join us in praying us through the wait and for God to move along these "hoops" as quickly as possible!

Send Me - Our Journey to our New Son

The world is a mess, falling apart.  
Senseless suffering.

There are so many things I can't do.  
I can't single-handedly fight a war or change political policy. 

But I refuse to believe I can't do anything. 

I won't give up hope that there is good in the world.

There are things we can do, today.

Today, there are children around the world who are alone. 

I can't change that for all, but I can change that for one.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8)

So, here we go again. We're heading back to China!
Here's the story of our new son:

Through both processes to bring our girls home, we have changed, grown and stretched so much in terms of our faith.  We've learned that the children who need families are not defined by their special needs. They are human and they need love. That's all.

We've also learned things that we can't unlearn:

• There are so many more boys waiting in China than girls. 
• Boys are often overlooked for girls.  
• Being a boy over the age of 2 or 3 is a special need in and of itself. 
• When kids in China turn 14, they are no longer eligible for adoption and face a life of very uncertain terms.  Employment, education, social acceptance etc. are very unlikely for orphans who have aged out.

When we went to Maggie's orphanage, we saw things we can't unsee:

•  Children everywhere, stuck in their cribs for most of the day.
• Boys, girls, many, many special needs. 
• They were starving for food, love, attention.
• Few workers, few toys and little love.
• It was dark, quiet and devastating.  
• We also saw many people with special needs on the streets begging, because they were not given the opportunity to go to school, get a job and be treated equally.

The seed was planted in the back of our minds.

In the meantime, life was crazy, hectic, busy and overwhelming with 4 kids of varying needs.

As a member of many online adoptive groups, I see dozens of children listed every day who desperately need a family.  Countless times I would show Jeremy their faces, talk about their story and pray for them.  Some would stick in my mind for a while, but it's hard to remember them all.  Summer of 2014,  I saw the face of a little boy pop up. He caught my eye and I shared his pictures and video with Jeremy.  He melted our hearts, but after we saw how great his physical need was, we decided we couldn't handle all that he would need. 

Every so often, his face would pop up again and I couldn't get him off my mind. I tried advocating for him myself for a while. This past summer (2015), we requested his file to get more information. We had a leading doctor who specializes in his need go over his file (which he kindly did for free!) and got a better idea of his needs. But when we heard the word "wheelchair" we once again shut down any possibility of us bringing him home.  We just thought there was no way we could handle a child who was at times reliant on a wheelchair. We thought the decision was final, and continued to pray for  him.  

But something happened after we made that decision. I was sad. I felt lost. I couldn't explain it. Rationally in my mind, I knew our hands were full. I knew the decision was made. So I went through a period of trying to focus on the kids we had and enjoy our life.  And it was good for a while.

But God wasn't done yet. After a series of major "ah-ha" moments, we realized that we were limiting God's power. That we were making our decisions based on worldly beliefs instead of Godly beliefs.  

We couldn't get this one particular boy out of our mind for a reason. 

He stood out more than any other face we've seen-
because he's our son.

Previously we had focused on our fears:

• His special need is rare and severe. 
• He'll need surgeries, therapies, castings and extra help.
• Our plates would be too full.  
• We had no money for another adoption.

In time, though, we began to only see the Truths:

• He is a treasured child of God.
• He needs a family.
• We are immensely blessed.
• We have a lot of love to share.
• God will equip us.

We only get one chance at this life.  I want to live it to the very fullest of God's potential. I want to live it with open, willing hands.  I want to be a part of God's larger than life plan.

Now we view this sweet face as our son. We love him and are racing through paperwork to bring him home as soon as possible.  He has already lived over 7 years without a family.  This time is different from our first two processes: because he waited for so long without a family, we were matched with him first  and are now starting from scratch on all the paperwork.

His needs do not define him nor will they break us. In fact,we know they'll strengthen us.  We are going to be immensely blessed by him joining our family, just as we were blessed by Allie and Maggie. 

We are beyond excited.  Join us on our journey to bringing Joey home!

 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8)

Send Me.

Our New Addition

We're thrilled to announce our newest addition, Joseph Zhao Yu, age 7.  We covet your prayers as we begin the paper chase to bring him home.

 

 

Affording Adoption & Medical Treatment - Things We've Learned

How to Help with Adoption Costs
Many people say the reason they can't adopt is because it costs too much.  Here's a few things we've learned along the way that have saved us a bundle!

1.  There are many, many grants available for families in the adoption process.  Yes, it takes a little more time and paperwork to apply, but so worth it!

2.  Adoption Tax Credit- http://tax-credit.adoption.com/

3.  Fundraising- there are so many wonderful ways to fund raise, from auctions to events to garage sales...people usually want to help!

Also, foster care is typically FREE. In fact, often foster care parents get paid to do the training and receive a month stipend to help offset the costs of raising the child.


How to Help with Medical Costs
Adopting a special needs child can come with the fear of covering long term medical costs. We figured we'd have a running bill with children's hospital forever! We have been shocked to discover that there are lots of options out there: financial assistance, grants and special insurance included.   Since Maggie has come home, she has had private speech therapy, more doctor's visits than we can count to the surgeon, dentist, geneticist, ENT, pediatrician, international adoption clinic etc., plus a major reconstructive surgery of her mouth.  How much of that have we paid for out of our pocket since she came home 2 years ago? ZERO. ZERO DOLLARS (with the exception of sick visits at the pediatrician). Here's how:

She qualifies for BCMH here in Ohio, which is Bureau for Children with Medical Handicaps. They have covered medical care related to her cleft.  http://www.odh.ohio.gov/odhPrograms/cmh/cwmh/bcmh1.aspx

She also received services from Help Me Grow, a program in our county for children under the age of 3 to help children who are developmentally delayed. It's FREE and they come to your home!! Many counties offer similar programs.

Our children's hospital has financial advocates who help families know what help is available.  Our advocate has been such a Godsend, she has helped us receive financial aid, along with various grants- not just for Maggie but all our kids.  Amazing!

We also have taken advantage of United Healthcare's Grant. You do NOT Have to be a United Healthcare member to take advantage (we're not!).  They have helped pay for medical bills for our kiddos, such as Ben's surgery to have his tonsils removed and Allie's occupational therapy.  Another Godsend!    http://www.uhccf.org/

Of course, some of these things are dependent on income, how many kids are in your family and whether you're eligible.  And services/programs vary by county and state.  But they are definitely worth looking into!