How We're Doing

I have every intention of blogging a little bit every day to keep track of our lives, but it's just not happening.  Perhaps this is why:

LOL.

It's taken me all day to write this, but here's what we've been up to. It's not in any order.

Obviously Maggie still doesn't like to be put down.  She has her moments where I can move around the room in her eyesight where she is fine. But often the screaming happens.  It's cute and funny and a good sign of her attachment to me, but honestly sometimes I want to pull my hair out!

Overall, though, Maggie Fei continues to make great progress.  She's getting more solid and heavier feeling, and has gained about 1 pound since we got her!  She's up to 17.8 pounds!  She's eating enormous amounts of baby food, Puffs and Yogurt Melts. I've discovered that sugar is one of the main ingredients in both of those (really?? in baby food? c'mon people), no wonder she is so willing to eat them. So we've switched to the organic, twice-as-expensive kind.  I just can't put sugar in her tiny little body.  Anyway, she does a great job feeding herself those things, but absolutely refuses any other kind of table food still at this point.  But she takes about 28oz of formula a day plus all the baby food, so I'm thrilled with how much she is eating and hope she continues to fatten up!

Feeding herself Puffs.


We've had some odd, unexpected health issues with her.  She was diagnosed with thrush right after we got home, we went thru the 14 day treatment of both oral and topical meds for that, only to have it still be there.  It's actually whitish-yellow gunk up in her palate.  So our adoption Dr referred us to her dentist, who we were seeing last Tuesday anyway.  He wasn't sure it was thrush so he sent us to peds for patch to be cultured. Peds couldn't culture patch (??) but she doesn't think it's thrush anyway, but suspects it's a bacterial infection. So we started antibiotics for that to see if it helped. Crazy.

Thankfully, I requested to get a naked weight on her, during which the nurse noticed a spot on her back that was concerning and not there before. It almost looks like a wart on her shoulder blade.  The cultured it (not sure why they can culture that but not what's in her mouth) and we waited a couple of days for the results.  Turns out it's a staph infection.  Ugh!  Really??  No one seems to know if the mouth and the staph on her back is related or not. But after being on antibiotics since last Wednesday, the spot looks better and the smell coming out of her mouth is much better too. But the white  patch is still in there!  At this point we're continuing the antibiotics to see how she does.  I wish I have kept track of how many times I've called the doctor since we got home!

In the meantime, Ben had his appointment with the same ENT who will do Maggie's ear tubes. After seeing how large Ben's tonsils are when they're not infected, plus hearing that he's had 4 infections in 6 months and missed 5 days of school so far this school year, he recommended removing his tonsils and adnoids.  Currently that surgery is scheduled for January 2nd.  And Maggie's is February 6th.  Seriously. Not sure if my heart can handle my oldest and youngest going thru surgery within nearly a month of each other.

I'm not totally decided on Ben's surgery. He has his pre-op appointment later this week, so I have to decide by then.  He has big, easily-infected tonsils like me, and I so wish I had had mine taken out as a kid. They still give me heck.  So long term, I want this for him so he doesn't have to deal with throat issues into adulthood. But I'm questioning whether now is the right time.  Technically he has plenty of time to recover and get back in the swing of things before Maggie's surgery. But Maggie is still very demanding of my time and attention. I haven't left her with anyone yet besides Jeremy... so leaving her for his surgery plus needing to give him more time and attention as he recovers will be very hard. Not to mention the other 2 kiddos thrown in the mix!

But I also love the idea of getting it done and out of the way.  We're already stuck in the house. If I postpone it, then we risk more doctor's visits and more time off school.  Plus we could have both their surgeries finished by spring and we can enjoy life.  So stay tuned for what we decide to do!

Sleep is going well, especially at night. She's sleeping a solid 11-13 hours, totally awesome. Naps she is tending to wake earlier than I think she should, thanks to poo in her diaper. But luckily it wakes her up now and she demands to be changed, which is so much better than her being content to sleep in it before and not ask for help.

She is also little miss Chatty Kathy.  Seriously she talks ALL the time, despite having no real words yet.  She tells me all kinds of things, complete with head bobs and nods, and eyebrow raising and infection in her voice.  This girl has all kinds of things to say. Many times she says it VERY loudly.  While everyone else is talking.  Someone buy me earplugs!

Our biggest challenge lately is logistics of four kids.  Bedroom arrangements are tough. We live in a 3 bedroom ranch with SIX (Jeremy pointed out I originally had this at 5-ha!) people.   Boys have been sharing a room forever and do pretty well most of the time. Sometimes we have to separate them at bedtime due to shenanigans, and we just put one in our bed until they're asleep.  We've successfully transitioned Maggie into her crib in her room instead of the pack-n-play in our bedroom.  Hallelujah! Except transition isn't the right word.  She just did it. She cries a bit when we lay her day, but lately she has been able to put herself to sleep after just a minute or two, which is huge progress over the constant pat-pat-patting we used to have to do to get her into a deep sleep.



BUT.... we now have a one year old sharing a bedroom with a 3 year old. Said 3 year old is VERY verbal and loves to sing loudly and talk before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up.  This makes things very tricky.  Telling a girl who is born to talk NOT to talk when she wakes up is not going over very well!  She just can't help it! But she has also woken up her sister on occasion. Plus we haven't tried putting them to bed at the same time yet... we usually put one to sleep first and once she's asleep, we lay the other one down. Depends on whether Allie napped that day who goes first.  It's a constant shuffling game.  The boys were almost 3 and 5 when they started sharing a room... this is a whole different mountain to climb. I know we'll get there, but sleep is SO important right now for all of us, so it's tricky.

Maggie's very favorite thing to do is have me be on the floor with her. She climbs all over me and laughs and laughs.  She just craves the attention.  No toys necessary when Mommy or Daddy is around!  She loves playing with her siblings too.

Climbing on Mommy .... and Ben.
  

I was so excited to have her be home in time for the holidays, so we "could all be together". Sigh. Well, we've had a whole lot of togetherness thanks to Thanksgiving break, sickness and snow days, not to mention 2 weeks off for Christmas coming up!  It's tough trying to give Maggie what she needs while still wrapping, baking, etc.  Needless to say, we've had to give up a lot of what we normally do.  No trip to the zoo to see the lights. No outside lights up here at our house (much to the boys' dismay), limited amount of cookies being baked (much to my dismay because I can't snack on them until Christmas!).  We've tried to explain to the kids that there are more kids now with the same number of adults, so we can't do things the way we used to. To which Sam replied, "Well, why can't we just get another adult, then!!!"  I wish!!

Love that boy Sam. He has been so clingy to me since we got home. He has to be touching me often. He hugs and kisses me throughout the day and will come grab my hand to cradle on his face. He told me, "Mom, I just can't resist you when I'm not with you."  Okay buddy. I think you got that a little twistered, but I get it. I missed you too.  :)

Still, some things must be done.  My 3 oldest kids LOVE Christmas purely and completely the way kids should.  So far no one has tampered their belief. And so we must keep that alive no matter how hard this year!  Sam is in love with Santa. He has worked for hours writing his notes and lists and making presents for him.  He gave a little tin to Santa when we saw him at the mall, which contains a little note, plus had 3 notes taped to it.  Plus he wrapped a little present for him as well.  Ben worked long and hard on his crazy Christmas list. I can't believe with how full this house is of 2 and 4-legged beings, he still asked for a kitty and puppy!  Dude, we got you a baby. That's enough.  :)  And Allie wrote a little note and wrapped a little present for Santa too. (Their presents were toys out of our treasure box here).  Our Santa picture ended up being a family affair since they were all pretty nervous to go over to the big guy when the time came.  They also got to ride the train around the mall while Great Grandma and I hung out with Maggie. Not quite the same as going to the zoo, but they loved it and it was much easier, warmer and closer!

   

 

Baking with 3 "helpers" and one fussy watcher:

We had meals delivered daily for nearly the first 3 weeks we were home. It was such a blessing and we got really spoiled.  We're so grateful to those dear friends who kept us fed and kept me from having to cook for so long!

We had our first post-adoption visit with our wonderful social worker. China wants to keep updated on us and how Maggie is doing long-term, so we'll be having to do regular updates for them until Maggie is at least 6!  Much longer than the requirements for Allie's adoption from Korea.  It's really not a big deal, though. Our social worker is the same we used for Allie as well, so it's more like having a friend come to visit.  She writes up a report and we email our agency some pics and that's it.

We've had more snow than we know what to do with, and it's not even officially winter yet!  Very unusual for here.  The boys especially are thrilled about this.

"Snow" much excitement!

Allie being silly with her shirt on backwards.  Indoor picnic on a snowy day.

  

 Cousin Ethan rocking his cast. He's doing much better!  And beautiful cousin Izzy at her recital.

  

I think it's really important to be honest about how we're doing.  We've only been home a little over 3 weeks. We were gone almost 3 weeks to a foreign country and came home with another human being.  It's a lot!  When you have a 3 week old biological baby, it's hard to keep a straight thought and function.  We're not quite that bad since we are sleeping at night, but close! It's a lot to juggle and figure out and we're still in the trenches. 

I think sometimes there's a misconception that international adoption is "easy" because the kids are a little older when they come home, so you don't have to go thru all that newborn stuff. But it's almost harder in some ways, because they're already a little person who likes and dislikes and then we ask them to forget all they know and dive in head first to a brand new life. It's hard on all of us.  But don't take that as regret for one second!  This girl is MEANT to be mine.  I feel it to the core of my being. I can't imagine my life without her.  

Homecoming #1

I am way overdue in posting about our trip home and our homecoming.  It was definitely a very emotional and overwhelming 24+ hours.  It will probably take several posts to cover it all!

We packed as much as we could the night before we left China.  Friday, Nov 22 we got up around 5am, as we had to be ready to go by 5:45.  We boiled one last bottle of water for Maggie's bottle and off we went. We said goodbye to our wonderful guide Jason and he put us in a van with a driver who would take us to Hong Kong. We thought the trip would take about 2.5 hours from Guangzhou to Hong Kong, but it took about 3.  It's so strange to be alone in a van with a stranger who doesn't speak your language!  We were really on our own without our guide and it was a little nerve wracking. But I knew our agency would only put us in the best of hands and our driver seemed to be very nice.  The van we were in was a newer Toyota, with the steering wheel on the right-hand side since they drive on the left side of the road in Hong Kong (in China they drive on the same side we do).

We had to go over the border into Hong Kong. This was a little crazy, as we had to wait in long lines and then show our documents and have our van and luggage inspected. I kept making sure we had our passports in hand and not lose them on the last day!  At one point at the border someone came over and pointed a little gun-like laser thing at us... we're thinking they took our temperature to make sure we were okay to cross over into Hong Kong!  Maggie did well in the van, but didn't sleep a wink despite being woken up so early.

We finally got to the Hong Kong airport, which was massive. We got all checked in and on our way to our gate.  It took FOREVER to get to our gate, it was such a huge airport.  The crowds there are just so crazy, people everywhere!  They wouldn't let us bring our thermos of extra hot water for future bottles for Maggie. We had to dump it and then go get more from a restaurant once we were past security.  Finally it was time to board the long flight home... only to discover they made just about everyone step aside before boarding the plane and search our carry-ons!  We had to throw out our liquids again... ugh!  More security steps there than in our other flights for some reason.  We were on the same flight as 3 other adoptive families.  We had no idea what to expect flying for nearly 15 hours with our new little ones!  Once on the plane, we realized the other families were in the back but we lucked out. Although we paid for economy seats (and chose not to get a seat for Maggie since she's so little-we only had to get her a lap ticket), we requested an infant crib. I guess that automatically bumped us up to economy plus seating where there was space for a crib, which was so much nicer.  We were right behind the bulkhead, so we had lots more leg room.  There were some drawbacks, though, to sitting there.  All our carry-ons had to be stashed up above since there were no seats in front of us to put them under.  We were one of the last ones on the plane so there weren't any places up above for our stuff, so our bags ended up being scattered about the plane, which was frustrating. We had lots of baby supplies in there that we couldn't get to initially.

At this point Maggie was losing patience since we had already been awake for so many hours. We desperately had to track down a flight attendant before take off for hot water (she'll only take her formula hot, typical for Chinese babies).

So we were a little rattled at first. We were in the middle group of seats, with a very nice but larger man in our group of 3 with us. Of course the crib attached to the bulkhead in front of him, so after we got settled into the flight, we switched seats so the crib could be in front of us.  I was able to get Maggie to sleep in my arms a couple of times, only to have her wake soon after very upset. The flight attendants were so sweet and tried to help. They attached the crib but Maggie was NOT going to lay in there for anything.  Being in the front of the entire economy and economy plus sections put us pretty much on display, so we did everything we could just to keep her quiet. But having the crib there was pretty nice anyway, we used it to stash her toys, feeding equipment, blanket, etc.

We quickly realized that getting her to sleep on the long flight home was going to be no easy task. I spent a good amount of time standing up and bouncing with her.  We gave her some Benadryl (don't judge!) and that didn't really seem to help either... we did finally get her to sleep in a couple small stretches, I think she slept a total of 5 hours on an almost 15 hour flight. The rest of the time we had to just pass her back and forth and try to keep her happy.  We took turns getting some rest, but we didn't sleep much.  I did watch one of my favorite movies, Crazy Stupid Love.  I was probably a little slap happy at that point, but I was literally laughing out loud on the dark plane while people were sleeping.  I so needed a comedy break at that point!

So the flight wasn't easy but it wasn't terrible either.  She didn't sleep much, but she really didn't fuss that much either.  I'm just so thankful she didn't scream the entire time!!   I tell you, I have never been so happy for a plane to land in all my life as I felt when we finally landed in Chicago.  Maggie officially became an American citizen when that plane touched down.  I wanted to hoot and holler a bit, but everyone else was subdued so I held it in.  :)

We were beyond exhausted, but we had one last leg of our journey.  We had to deplane, get her stroller and carry-ons and then get our checked luggage, despite having a connecting flight! Such a pain. We had to grab that and then wait in line for a while to go through customs.  Then onto another wait at immigration. It took a while but went smoothly for the most part.  We did have one glitch-we were supposed to go thru a security check after immigrations and Jeremy lost a little form we were supposed to turn in. We thought we had to get out of line and go find it, but the security guards there kindly waved us through. My dear husband has a habit of misplacing things, and we had been awake for a very long time at that point and I started to panic. I was SO happy they let us go through anyway, I wanted to hug that guards!!  Then we had to re-check our bags and go thru the main security again.  C.R.A.Z.Y.  But we did it.

Then we had a couple hours of down time to regroup before our last flight. We said goodbye to the other families we had been with the entire trip, as we all went off to different final flights.  We had avoided salads in China, so I was craving a salad and a big iced tea with ice!!  I had that, Maggie and I changed our clothes and before we knew it it was time to board our sixth plane out of 6 flights.  They changed our gate at the last minute and for a moment we were afraid we were going to miss the flight, but thankfully we got there in time.

I have to say I handled nearly everything about this trip with unusual ease.  I don't love traveling for long amounts of time and I really don't like flying. I'm a homebody. But I feel like I was filled with extra strength during those 17 days, and I felt next to no anxiety for the entire trip. Those of you who know me well know how amazing that is!   It was awesome to not fret about things that I normally would have fretted about. We kept our cool on the long flight home and I thought that last flight would be cake.

But when we got on that last plane, Maggie started to panic and so did I.  She just hit an absolute wall from all the traveling and lack of sleep and boy did she scream. Loud.  It was a TINY plane, which I hate.  We were in the 2nd to last row and I could just feel everyone's annoyance at our screaming baby!!  The more she screamed the more I lost my cool... then when the plane took off I was just an emotional mess. I wanted her to stop crying and I wanted off that tiny bus in the sky.  I don't know why it freaked me out so much, I think I just had nothing left to give at that point. Plus I just kept imagining seeing my kids again after 17 days and I couldn't stop the tears from streaming. I think the women behind us thought I was crazy!  Thankfully it was only about an hour's flight and I was PRAISING the LORD when we landed.

Stay tuned, in my next post I'll cover the best part... reuniting with our kids!!!

In the van on the way to Hong Kong.

Sights of Hong Kong.

One of the adorable little guys from our group, Judah.

Maggie kept trying to pull up on him.

So he tried to kiss her. :)

One of her few cat naps on the plane.

We spent many hours doing this... just her standing in my lap wiggling....

And being silly.....

And oh so tired!

14 Months Today

Maggie is 14 months today!  This was the first "birthday" we got to celebrate with her.  :)

I had major cabin fever after the sickness this week and the weather, so we ventured out today and took the kids to a Mexican restaurant for lunch.  Normally eating out is not pretty in our family.  I think we just don't do it enough for them to handle it well. This was the first time we went out to eat since we've been home, and it actually went pretty well!  Maggie did great and I was so happy to satisfy my Mexican craving.  Yep, we took our Korean and Chinese daughters out for Mexican. We're a diverse bunch!

The big kids played out in the snow again today and I did I think 6 loads of laundry.  Maggie had another very fussy day.  She is desperate to be held.  I have Ben's sore throat now and I'm hoping that's not what's going on with her.

Happy 14 months Maggie Fei!  Here's to never celebrating another milestone without us.

Two Weeks Home

Hard to believe we've been home only 2 weeks. Seems like so much longer, and China seems like a distant memory already.  Sometimes I cannot believe we actually went to China!  To say that I'm relieved to have that behind us is an understatement!  We've come a long way in 2 weeks. The fog has lifted and I think (knock on wood) that we are pretty much over the jet lag.  Maggie has slept 4 nights in a row all night.  I hope I don't jinx myself by writing that!

She has gone from a girl who flinched the first day whenever we touched her to a girl who joined right in to the family wrestling and tickle party tonight.  She has gone from being so in shock that she wouldn't move or make sounds to a girl who is on the move and has a lot to say!

I feel like we have a lot of the tough stuff behind us.  We survived the trip home, the jet lag, the first several big medical appointments and initial adjustment stuff.  And we still have much ahead. We're still figuring out how to do life with 4 kids.  Maggie has days (like today) where she screams every time I put her down.  She is giddy in my arms, but panicked on her own.  This will take time, I know.  She's been through more than I can imagine, and she's not going to overcome it in a few weeks.  I'm sympathetic to her of course, but selfishly sometimes it's just hard!  I've been with her since Nov 11 pretty much 24-7, even with her sleeping in our room, except for a quick escape to the grocery.  Sometimes I wish I could just go pee without having to endure her crying!  I know this will get better with time.

Another sad thing we've noticed is that she has had several giant poops during nap and nighttime and she doesn't even cry out. She just goes back to sleep until we smell her when we go in the room. Maybe some babies just do this, but someone pointed out to me that maybe it's because she learned in the orphanage that it didn't do her any good to cry when she had a dirty diaper, so she learned not to. Who knows, but such a sad thought.

Allie is also really, really struggling.  We're not surprised, but she has really regressed.  She wants to be held, rocked in the night and babied just like Maggie.  This is totally normal, but man is it tough. She doesn't understand that we can't hold her every second!  She battles us over every step of the day: getting dressed, eating, brushing her teeth, playing nicely, going to bed.  She's still awake tonight screaming at the top of her lungs that she wants to rock, despite having a fun day with lots of attention. We were home together all day, decorated for Christmas, had hot chocolate, had 3 meals together, had a wrestle/tickle party tonight, she sat in my lap while we read books(they all fight over my lap and tonight was her turn), she had Daddy time in her room at bedtime (she has a wipe board she loves to write and draw on with him) and he rocked her.  I think we did a pretty good job of making her feel loved and safe, yet it's not enough.  She is constantly desperate for more and more individual attention.  She's always been a tough kid, but she's really struggling now.

I'm not trying to complain, it's just our reality right now!  The boys are doing better than the girls, although Sam is pretty emotional too right now, and can fall into a tantrum at the drop of a hat. Ben is definitely the most adjusted. He's old enough to not need that same kind of attention and he takes an adorable "older brother" role with Maggie, which helps me so much. He entertains her when I can't be right there and it's truly a help!

I also find myself a little grumpy at the weather.  Allie came home in June, and although we "cocooned" for a couple months with her at home, we were able to get outside every day in our yard, take walks, etc.  We are pretty much stuck inside right now.  Although Maggie is pretty social and outgoing around other people, she also gets very overwhelmed after, and we know not to push her yet.  I can see her still attaching to me more and more. A few days ago she would willingly go to anyone as long as she could keep her eyes on me. The past few days, though, she doesn't want other people to hold her. Which is really GOOD! That means she knows that I'm her primary caregiver and she prefers me. We are seeing friends and family for very short visits, but also know we're doing the right thing to continue "cocooning" her for a while longer and avoid lots of outings and big groups.

Sometimes it hits me hard that we have 4 kids, ages 1, 3, 5 and 7.  Quiet moments are rare right now.  But that's okay.  Despite the bickering and difficulties, I see how their hearts are being stretched. I see that they've once again opened their hearts to love someone who is not our blood and is yet our family just the same.  Maggie looks different and has a special need, yet they still get so excited to see her and spend time with her. They accept her for who she is and love her completely as a sister.  I truly believe that long term this is going to be a life changing experience for them and their hearts.  It's shaping who they will become, and it can only be for good.  We live in a country where things tend to be very self-focused. I pray that our kids are learning something big about putting others first, stepping out in faith, and LOVING BIG. We're not perfect by any means and it's not easy.  It's messy, loud and crazy, but this is absolutely what God intended for our family, and that feels really, really good.

Out in the freezing rain last night to cheer on our hometown football team 

as they headed to the State Championship game!!!  Our town lined the streets for the team as they rode on buses through the town towards the high way. It was so cool.
They won the game tonight, undefeated State Champs!!!!!

Pre-bedtime Daddy Time.  She loves to watch TV, which is so funny. 

Our other kids weren't interested at all until much older.

Piggy back ride to bed!

Look closely at the 3 in this pic.  We were trying to put up the tree and Maggie was screaming in her exersaucer, Allie was playing hide and seek in the box.  Ben was actually helping with the tree and Sam was trying to calm Maggie while bickering with Allie.

Big brother Sam comforting a still unhappy Maggie.

Big helper.

Snow!!!

Hanging on the couch before bed.

Not asleep, just chilling. Don't worry, I was right there making sure she didn't fall off. :)
Is she cute or what?

Looking Up

Knock on wood, things are starting to calm down a bit here.  Ben is back to school and my nephew Ethan is home from the hospital.  Ethan has a long road of recovery ahead of him. He has a full leg cast and will be in a wheelchair for a while. But we're so glad he's home and can start to heal.

Maggie has slept 13 hours straight the past 3 nights. We put her to bed at 9pm and I have to wake her at 10am!  I know that long of a stretch won't continue, but getting an uninterrupted night's sleep is heavenly! She's also takes an afternoon nap that I have to wake her from as well.  She's been eating great and super happy this week!  Her personality is really coming out. She's very outgoing and silly. We call her Wild Woman.  I think she may end up being the class clown. She loves to tickle and tease, dance and sing. Yes, when she hears music she starts to "sing" and sway. It's adorable.  She babbles all the time and loves to mimic us and do these silly head bobs.  She's very relaxed and just loves to be with us.

Everyone says she's so lucky to be here. That's true to an extent, she's definitely better off here than in that orphanage. But honestly WE are the lucky ones! She has brought such joy to our house. Someone asked me if I regret adopting her. Honestly the question shocked me and thought of regret literally never crossed my mind. She is MY CHILD. Meant to be mine just as much as my biological children.  I'm obsessed with her. I can't get enough of kissing those soft little cheeks and hearing her giggle.  We view her medical needs and hoops we had to jump through to adopt her in the same way we view issues that come up with our biological children-you deal with them without question because they are your child.  All kids have things come up in their childhood that they need help with. We consider ourselves blessed and honored to be the ones that God chose to care for her.  She is not a burden in any way, not any more so than Sam's food allergies and Ben's throat problems and Allie's emotional issues.  We love them all wholly and completely.

Friends, if you are feeling a little inkling inside your heart to adopt or foster, but keep saying no because you are afraid, I promise you God will equip you and fill your heart with love.  It might not be easy at every step, but you won't regret it and your life will be blessed a thousand fold.

She is getting braver. She was determined to get Ben's markers from him.

And kept getting dragged back by Daddy.

 Working on a welcome home banner for cousin Ethan.

Quiet time. I swore I didn't need to have a baby again, but I'm so loving these snuggles with her.

 Ben is AMAZING with her. He plays with her and "works his magic" as he says when she's fussy.  They got to spend lots of time together when he was home for 3 days.  Fingers crossed she doesn't get sick!!

 Yesterday was so warm out. The big kids and I played baseball in the front yard while Mags relaxed in her exersaucer.  BTW, you should see 3 year old Allie hit the ball when it's pitched to her. You can tell she has 2 older brothers!

Maggie's Surgical Plan

FYI: I've put in some before/after pictures of Maggie's cleft lip/palate in this post.

Our appointments at Children's on Monday for Maggie were very informative and very LONG (almost 4 hours!).  We first saw a genetics doctor who basically is coordinating her care and overseeing everything. She was fantastic. She examined Maggie very thoroughly and wanted to know details about how she's eating, sleeping, interacting, etc.

 She got more accurate weight and height measurements (everything before had been done w/clothes on and kinda quick).  She has gained a tiny bit already, she's at the 7th percentile in weight now!  Whoo-hoo!  But they think her height is smaller than the original measurements showed. She is so far down off the chart that they are concerned.  For right now, we just wait and see how she grows. It's totally fine for her to be short, but she needs to be growing.  So that's why she's looks chubby despite being tiny, since her weight is not in proportion to her height.  Her head circumference is about 10th percentile, which is good. That's in proportion to her weight and is also another clue that she's probably just a small kiddo.

Developmentally she's doing really well considering how small she is and her background.  That's another good sign that hopefully she doesn't have any other health problems and just needs time to catch up.  Maggie is very social and loves attention. She did great at the appointments and showed off some of her silly tricks to the doctors and nurses. I'm glad they got to see how smart she is!

They are also a little concerned about her aversion to solid food.  She is such an inexperienced eater and literally cringes at any offer of solid food. She'll actually pick up a cheerio or cracker we give her and throw it!  For now, we're going to just keep trying but if she continues to struggle, then we may sign her up for some feeding therapy for some extra help.

We also learned more about her cleft. She has a bilateral cleft lip, which means her lip was split open on both sides originally.  It was a much wider split on her left side. She had one surgery on her lip in China when she was around 6 months old. She really does look so much better now since that surgery, it's amazing what they did. But our surgeon pointed out something that we hadn't noticed. She is missing the little indent that people generally have above her top lip and under her nose.  I can't remember the medical term (I'm terrible with medical things!).  He said he would have made sure she had that if he had done her originally surgery and he wasn't very happy that that wasn't taken care of in China.  He said that will complicate her repair here, as he's not sure where that part of her upper lip is. He said it may take more than one surgery to get that right.

Also, her top lip has adhered to her top gum, so we can't lift up her lip to see her top teeth/gum area. They said that is common and fixable. She does have one top tooth on the right that is in the correct spot (we discovered this when she bit us!).  Plus she has the one "crazy" tooth as we call it. That's the top front tooth on the left. It's firmly in her gum and pointing sideways.  It will have to be pulled.  We had thought it would be pulled during her main surgery, but her surgeon wants that to be done beforehand. So she has an appointment at our pediatric dentist next week to get his thoughts about that tooth.  (I still can't get over the fact that the dentist I've taken the kids to over the years happens to be the top dentist who works with the cleft palate team at Children's.  Jackpot!! We had no idea ahead of time how that would fall into place.)

The reason why that tooth can be seen is because her lip split back open after her surgery in China, exposing part of her top gum and the tooth.  Her top gum is also missing sections.  She has the front section where her front teeth are, but then there is an open gap with no gums on either side. This is part of her bilateral cleft, which included her lips and gums.  She also has 4 teeth on the bottom so far.

Her palate has about 10-12mm opening from what he could tell (she's not too cooperative with them looking in her mouth!).  He said it's a standard cleft palate, going from the front of her mouth all the way back.

Before

After (ignore the constant baby food encrusted in her nose!)

Our surgeon said we could either do her lip surgery first, which would involve a 1 night hospital stay, then do the palate later, which would be 2-4 night hospital stay.  Or we could do it all together, which will probably be a 5 night stay.  We opted for doing it all at once. It's going to be so hard to keep her healthy before the surgery that we decided to just do it once and get it over with, even though we'll be at the hospital for a longer stretch.  She won't be able to go home until she can take fluids on her own, which they said can be pretty difficult for little ones sometimes.

So here's our current surgical plan for her:
1.  See the dentist and if he agrees, have that tooth pulled sooner rather than later, so it can be healed by the big surgery.

2. Feb 6th is tentatively set for the big surgery.  They will repair her lip, try to fix the middle indent,  repair the palate, and get tubes placed in her ears.

3. She may need another repair on her upper lip to fix what was done in China at a later date.

4. Possibly another touch-up before kindergarten.

5.  Definitely a big surgery around the age of 6-8 to do bone grafts for her upper gums.

6.  Another surgery or two as she grows through her teens. At this point some of it will be up to us how much we want to tweak or leave alone.

AND lots of dental and orthodontist work along the way. We're not certain if she has all her teeth in her gums. Most likely she'll have a "hole-y" grin through a good part of her childhood until we can do something permanent for her.

That part of the appointment with the genetics and surgeon took 2 hours.  We got instructions for pre and post op, and things to work on now.  One of the worst things that will happen after her surgery is that she'll be in elbow restraints for 3 weeks after the surgery. They are little velcro wraps that go around her elbows to prevent them from bending. She can't touch her mouth in any way. If she does, it could really mess up the work that was done. She'll be able to pick up toys, etc. but won't be able to bend her arms at all, which you can imagine will be pretty frustrating for her. She'll be 16 months at that time, old enough to be very mobile and independent (and oral!), yet too young to understand why she's being restrained like that.

We also found out she won't be allowed to suck at all after the surgery. So we need to help her now learn to get her formula and fluids with a sippy or regular cup instead of her bottle.

We also saw the ENT.  Same guy who put Sam's tubes in when he was little, and will look at Ben's throat next week.  He's "the" guy to have around here.  I thought that would be a quick appointment, but it took another almost 2 hours!  Cleft lip and palate kids tend to have fluid in their ears due to the structure of everything in there, so ear infections are very common. Her ears were so caked with 13 months of fluid that has dried that they couldn't see her eardrums. We had to go to a procedure room, where we had to pin her down for about 15 months to get them cleaned out.  Needless to say, that did not go over well!!  You should have seen all the gunk they got out of her ears.  The doctor said it was very apparent this is the first time her ears have been cleaned.  Once they were clear, we found out she does not currently have an ear infection, but does have fluid in there. So they're going to go ahead and put tubes in at the same time her lip and palate are repaired.
The ENT also wanted her hearing tested, as some hearing loss with a cleft lip/palate can happen, thanks to the fluid muffling the sounds.  Our paperwork from China indicated hearing loss on the left side. So on we went to the audiologist... I had done this before with Allie and Sam.  She sat on my lap in a soundproof room and they tried to train her to react to sounds so they could gauge her level of hearing. But she just couldn't do it.  They said they don't think she's developmentally ready for an evaluation like that. They said typically they start doing that at 6 months of age, but they think she hasn't been talked to enough to necessarily connect sounds with meanings.  Oy.  So we're going to keep talking to her and working on that, and her hearing will be retested after her surgery. We know she hears some; she responds to her name and to music. But there are times that it seems like she doesn't hear everything.  Hopefully once the tubes are in (and her ears stay cleared out!) she'll be hearing much better!

Jeremy met me at the hospital for the first part of the appointment and then left to get back to work. He missed out on all the ear cleaning fun!!

Oh and we also have finished the oh-so-enjoyable job of collecting her stool, so I dropped that off while we were there. I'm SO thankful for our Children's Hospital.  It's so close and all the people we needed to see were right there.

*I just got a call from Children's to let me know that her stool is clear (no parasites!) and they had enough blood to do all the blood work except one... so we're going to wait and do that at her 6 month follow up rather than me take her for another blood draw now. Yippee!!

So that's what we know for now.  We did tell them that we'd be open to doing her surgery sooner should a date open up, as long as it's after Christmas.  Regardless, we'll be washing hands lots and praying she stays healthy for the surgery so it doesn't have to be postponed. Not an easy task with 3 big siblings going to school and bringing germs home, so we'd appreciate prayers and good thoughts for her immune system!

As soon as we got to the hospital, this was the first magazine I saw while we were waiting. Thought it was a funny sign that this is where we're meant to be with the adoption article on the cover.

Hanging out with Daddy on the exam table.

Taking a cat nap while waiting for the ENT.

Overload

We are beyond overloaded with all that's going on right now. Some good, some not, some fun and crazy.  I've had many people say they've missed our daily updates, so I'll do my best to do a better job to keep everyone updated on how we're doing!  Let me back track and fill you in on our absolutely insane Monday.

1.  We spent several hours up the night before with a very fussy little baby.  Not sure why, but the sleep deprivation is getting to us. We left for China on Nov 6 and didn't really get great sleep the entire time we were there, just from jet lag, time difference, excitement, new baby, etc.  We had yet to get a full night's sleep since we got home. So that's almost a month of inconsistent sleep. She still sleeps so heavily during the day and I have to wake her from every nap to prevent her from sleeping the day away!

2. We woke Monday morning to the news that we were in the Cincinnati Enquirer!  I blogged about it in my post yesterday- here's the link again.
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20131202/NEWS/312020017/Through-my-lens-Parents-bring-daughter-home
It's been such a fun experience, the doctor's and nurses at Maggie's appointment recognized us. I even had a woman at the library today look at me and say "There's the famous family from the newspaper." Ha!  Sam and Allie both took copies of the paper to school to show their teachers.  Really fun and I'm really hopeful it helps spread the joy of adoption.

3.  Ben is home from school sick with another throat infection. He has had at least 4 (maybe more, I've lost track) since June.  Typically he gets a fever and really bad sore throat. His tonsils swell till they are "kissing" (his doctor's term), but it's never strep. He has missed 4 days of school so far this school year thanks to his throat.

4. I saw that my friend Kendra, who I met through a Facebook adoption group, has been united with her daughter in China.  I had the opportunity to hold and love on her daughter Anna while we were visiting the orphanage in China and she is precious. She also has a cleft palate and is absolutely adorable. She and Maggie were together both at Little Flowers AND the orphanage in China, so they've basically been sisters. Now their family lives only 2 hours from here!!  What are the odds of that?? We can't wait to get our daughters together on this side of the ocean.  It was so emotional seeing them meet their daughter for the first time.

5. Monday was 3 weeks to the day since we met Maggie.  For some reason that was emotional for me.  Seems like I've known her forever, yet 3 weeks is such a short time!  She is just so delightful, she LOVES to play with us and be silly. She is just thriving under all the attention.

6. Maggie had her BIG appointment at Children's Hospital with the plastic surgeon, genetics, ENT and audiologist that afternoon. It took almost 5 hours. It was draining and exhausting, but very informative.  More on that later.

7. Maggie and I returned home (finally) after dark from that appointment to find things not as I expected at home. My mom was gone from watching the kids, my dad in her place and very upset. My nephew, who turns 13 this month, fell while skateboarding and was transported to the hospital by ambulance. He broke his leg very badly in 2 places. He was in terrible amounts of pain, even after morphine.  They then transported him to the main campus where he was admitted and had surgery today to put pins in his bones to hold them together.  He just got out of surgery a bit ago and they said it went well but he has a long road ahead of him. He is a baseball star here in our town and we're all praying he gets back on his feet quickly and STOPS SKATEBOARDING.  DO YOU HEAR ME ETHAN!?!!?

8.  Ben was still running a fever w/his throat. I called the peds at 7pm Monday night and they said they would see him at 8pm. (How awesome is that??) So I left poor Jeremy with the 3 little ones to put to bed by himself and took Ben. The doctor we saw recommended he have his tonsils out.  UGH!!! Really?? So on the same day we met Maggie's surgeon to plan her surgery and my nephew has an injury that requires surgery, we also find out that surgery may be in Ben's future as well.  What are the odds that 2 of my 4 kids need surgery by the same ENT and 3 of the 6 grandkids need surgery around the same time?  Our family needs a break!  So we're going to an ENT next week to see if those tonsils need to come out. Wonder of our ENT will give us a 2 for 1 deal??

9.  Maggie was absolutely refusing a bottle Monday and mostly not wanting it over the past few days. It was really worrying me since she is so tiny and that is her main source of nutrition.

Needless to say Monday was a stressful and emotional day; thank goodness for getting to see another family united and for the newspaper article to bring a little light to the day!

Today (Tuesday) has been slightly less hectic so far, but still pretty crazy. I've lost track of how many phone calls I've made in regards to Maggie's health care and Ben's. I have appointments and instructions everywhere.  The kids were terrible this morning because I was on the phone so much (being on the phone is just an invitation for them to do every terrible thing they can think of).  IT'S INSANE right now.

But we are okay. The BEST NEWS is that Maggie FINALLY slept thru the night last night!  She slept from 9pm to 10am this morning when I woke her. Hallelujah! I'm trying to be realistic that this may not repeat itself again right away, but so hopeful.  I'll be able to handle the daytime craziness so much better with some sleep!  Plus she had 2 big poops this morning and has had 2 bottles so far today. I think she was constipated and some prunes got her moving and hopefully back on track.

Never a dull moment here!  But this is what we signed up for.  I have a t-shirt on that says "Don't Quit" and that's been our motto for the whole adoption process, and will continue to be as we persevere through this next phase of life!

I'll do another post soon on the details we learned from Maggie's appointment yesterday!  Stay tuned!

We Made the Paper!

We are in today's newspaper! Our dear friend Leigh Taylor came to take pictures of our homecoming when we arrived at the airport from China.  She's a photographer for the Enquirer and turned our pictures into a beautiful story of adoption and friendship.  We came to know her and her family when we were in the process to adopt Allie, and our girls came home together from Korea.  

We're so thankful for their friendship and for Allie to grow up with a buddy who also is adopted from the same place at the same time.  These pictures and this article are so special and beautiful! 

 Our kids were so excited to see themselves in the paper!!  It was funny timing; we had Maggie's appointment with the cleft palate team today at Children's Hospital, and the doctor's and nurses discovered the article before we arrived. We were like celebrities when we got there, they were so excited to have us there on the day the article ran!  Maggie was treated like a little queen. :)

Thank you Leigh for such beautiful memories and for what I know will be a lifelong friendship. 

 Here's the link! 

Through the Lens: Parents Bring Daughter Home

Thankful

We are slowly getting on track around here.  The past few nights Maggie has only been awake for short periods of time, and not wanting to play in the night, thankfully.  Jeremy and I have gotten a couple long stretches of sleep, thank goodness!  Jeremy is more adjusted than I am.  I need lots of sleep and am still trying to get over the jet lag.  I've heard it takes as many days to get over jet lag as the number of hours of the time difference.  We're a 13 hour time difference from China... today is day 9, so we're getting there! I think I'm also tired from taking care of 4 kids!  Maggie is still really tired during the day, and I have to wake her from her naps otherwise she'd sleep all day.

She is eating baby food like a champ. She begs for it.  I tried giving her a cracker yesterday and she literally cringed.  She'll pick up a cheerio or teething biscuit and throw it in anger when I try to give it to her! She has some serious aversions to solid food.  But I'm so happy she's getting better nutrition. Her hair is very coarse, and the doctor said that's due to lack of nutrition. That just hurts my heart.  Can't wait to see it start to soften up.

I'm the type of person who likes to clean and needs a clutter-free house. So the past 9 days have not been easy, as it looked like a bomb went off in here. We were just too tired to unpack, put things away and keep up with the laundry and dishes. Then our washer broke and we got even more behind. Thankfully, my fix-it hubs got that fixed yesterday and I forced myself to get moving around here.  We FINALLY have laundry put away from the trip, we're putting away our travel things, and starting to go through the piles of paperwork, mail and schoolwork. I finally worked on bills last night.  It feels good to have enough mental clarity to take care of some things.

I'm so appreciative of all the kind words and support. I've gotten way behind on emails, texts, FB... so if you've sent me a message, know that I got it and so appreciate it!  We're also getting spoiled by having a meal delivered for dinner each day. I haven't had to cook yet!

Thanksgiving was low key, small and wonderful at my sister's house.  Maggie had a great time, she's a pretty social little girl. She had a hard time settling down once we got home, though, so I know it was a lot for her even though she had a good time.

Big week coming up.  In addition to her medical appointments, it's also our first full week back to work and school.  Jeremy only worked Wednesday and Friday last week, so this will be my first full week home alone with the kids.  Yikes.  It's a little daunting.  Maggie still would rather be held than anything, and can't feed herself a bottle or baby food, so she requires a lot of my time.  Ben is pretty self sufficient these days (except for torturous homework time), but Sam and Allie still require a lot of me too.  Hoping I grow extra arms or clone myself or something!